Love Before the First Sight
by AmeliaJasmine
Summary: When Edward met Bella in Forks, everyone assumed that it was the first time they ever met. And soon everyone knew that it was love at first sight. But what if Edward and Bellal met before, in anther lifetime, in Chicago 1918? Here is their story before Twilight.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hi, and welcome to Love Before the First Sight. This little story has been going through my head for a little while now, and I decided to put it up on FanFiction. **

**This will be written entirely in Bella's point of view, partly because I wanted to make it as close to Stephenie Meyer's books as possible, but also because I have very little idea as to how Edward's mind works! **

**Well, I hope you like it and please review if you do. But please be nice, this is my first story…:))**

**_Chicago, 1918_**

**Prologue: **_With tears in my eyes and sobs breaking free from my chest, I watched as Dr Cullen wheeled him away to the morgue. I was too late, and now there was nothing more that I could do. All the promises, all the dreams and aspiration that we had for the future have been crushed, broken. Fate decided that we weren't destined to be together after all._

_Moisture clouded my vision, but still I did not look away. Around me people were rushing, laughing, crying. They were no more that annoying phantoms to me, blocking my view of his dead body. I frantically pushed through the crowd, desperate to see his still form for at least a few more seconds. Just as Dr Cullen was turning the corner, I collected enough courage to speak, to make it all okay for him, for me. Praying was pointless; there was nothing to pray for now. He was gone, and my soul has left along with him._

_Barely able to gather a breath, I uttered my quick, broken and meaningless goodbye._

_"I will always love you, Darling. I promise that we will meet again..."_

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Daisy pulled the strings of my corset tighter, making me gasp and then cringe. I held my breath. I wanted to tell Daisy to loosen the ties a little, but I was well aware of my mother standing by my side, watching me carefully. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, thinking about the Romeo and Juliet play in an attempt to divert my mind. Still, I could feel the air struggling to break free from my lungs. I opened my eyes again, and looked over at my reflection in the mirror. My face was even paler than usual, the lack of oxygen taking away what blood might have pooled in my cheeks.

Oh, if only Daisy would know that she was pulling too tight. I longed to tell her that I was feeling faint, but I could not. Normally, she and I made wonderful friends. I was free to speak to her as I chose, and most of the time it was in a very pleasant manner. But whenever my mother was near, we both had to act the part; me, the cold daughter of the house, Daisy, the obedient servant.

This was one of those occasions. Mother was paying me a morning visit, deciding it to be the best time to talk about my marriage.

I tried to focus on what she was saying in between each gasp that left my lips when Daisy pulled the corset tighter still.

"It's your first season, and it is not something you can take lightly. Your father and I both have very high expectation, and I will be disappointed in you don't strive to meet them. We bought you up to do your very best, and anything less I will considered a failure."

Daisy was done with the corset now. I could breathe a bit easier and I looked over at my mother, giving her my undivided attention. She was looking at me speculatively, demanding an agreeable answer.

"Of course, mother. You will not be disappointed in me." I said, because that was what was required of me, but even I didn't believe it. All my life I have tried to impress my parents, or at least meet their high standards. I never succeeded. I was ungraceful and timid, and I never knew what the right thing to say was. My face was pale and painfully plain, giving off the impression that I was always ill. However, whenever I was in the presence of a man, my cheeks burned with colour, embarrassing me and making me stutter in a very un-ladylike manner. As a result, I was not yet seventeen and already most gentlemen of any considerable class have given up on me.

I had always been a bad liar. My mother saw right through me now, and in response her features turned hostile. When she spoke again, her voice was cold.

"That is not the attitude I expect from you, Isabella." When she said my full name, her Italian accent come out stronger than normal. Daisy and I both looked at her for a second, both of us immobile. Mother's accent was never so strong unless she was very aggravated or angry. Usually, that voice was used on scandalously rude servants, or dressmakers that did not comply with her wishes. Even when the tone wasn't directed at you, it still froze every drop of blood in your body. Then my mother turned her icy gaze at Daisy and the poor girl looked away quickly, back to my dress which she was now fastening at the back. I was not so lucky; I had no excuse to not look at my mother.

"Isabella, you must marry, as you are well aware. I have been talking to you about nothing but marriage ever since you could speak!" What my mother was saying was strictly true; marriage was the only topic that she indulged in.

"All the years of planning your marriage, and you will spoil it all in one night! Isabella," she was gripping my arm now, with surprising strength for a woman her age. I tried to free myself but her hold on me only tightened. She continued speaking as I struggled to break from her grasp.

"Isabella," her voice was more moderate now, not calmed but strictly under control. "Your marriage has been discussed since the day you were born. You can't just let your father down like that, let me down. Listen!" she commanded as I tried to pull away from her again. "There is a good friend of mine, Elisabeth Mason. You have met her in the past, on several occasions. Perhaps you remember." She paused now, waiting for my response.

I was unmoving now, no longer struggling to break my mother's hold. I nodded my head, unable to speak. Mrs. Masen was a very nice woman, and one of the best people I have ever had the pleasure to meet.

When I gave my mother the non-verbal response, she resumed. "She has a son, Edward. He is just a bit older than you. Elisabeth believes that if he finds a wife, he will give up his dream to become a soldier. I am set on protecting his poor soul from wasting away in these horrible trenches! You must convince him to love you. You must make him marry you. That is the only chance for you both. He is situated comfortably, with a big estate that he will very soon inherit from his father. A union between you will ensure he stays here, in his home. And for the love of all that's holy, Isabella, you should know that it will calm my heart."

I looked at her skeptically for a second. It was all very well for my mother and Edward Mason, but nowhere in her beautiful speech did she mention _my _happiness, or _my _peace of mind.

Although quickly, I dispatched that thought. It was selfish for me to think that way. There were more important matters than my happiness. And to please my mother, I would do anything.

Still, I did not know what was expected of me. How was I to make Edward love me? I didn't even know the man. And only I alone could be trusted to do something upon our meeting, something that would make Mr. Masen so much more eager to join the war, breaking his poor mother's heart and wounding my mother's ego.

My mother's plan- remarkable as it was- would without a doubt be ruined by my lack of tack. How could she put me up to this task?

"But mother," I said when she offered me no advice as to how I should make Edward love me. "What do you expect me to do? You know better that anyone that I have no skills required to charm a man. How should I make him love me?"

"My daughter," she replied. She let go of my shoulders now, and I could feel the blood starting to circulate again. It was a relief. I moved my hand from side to side in a gentle movement, feeling the liquid of life flow through it. "There are many charms hidden in your plain character. Your eyes, for one. Look at them." She turned me to look in the mirror, causing Daisy to lose her hold on the string she was enclosing around my waist. I pretended not to notice. Fortunately, mother didn't notice either.

"They're beautiful brown eyes, Isabella." She continued, and Daisy let out her breath in relief. I smiled at her stress. In response my mother smiled as well.

"I can assure you that no man who looks into your eyes for long enough will be able to resist you." Her voice was getting confident know. She was sure that I was starting to see the beauty in my face. And I wanted to listen to mother, truly I did, but I had other things on my mind. Daisy was putting on my shoes, prodding my extremely ticklish feet in the process. It was all I could do to stop myself from laughing.

Unfortunately, my mother noticed my subdued giggles.

"Are you laughing at me, girl?" She asked her voice no longer kind and motherly. It sobered me a little, and I assumed a serious pose once more.

"No, mother, I was merely responding to your complements." It was the first thing that I thought of saying, but it seemed to do its job. Mother looked contented. However, when Daisy snorted uncontrollably, causing me to laugh again, it was too much for my mother to take.

"How dare you!" she said to the servant. Daisy's laugh was cut short. "I took you in from the streets, offered you a place to live and food to eat, and this is how you repay me?" Daisy stood up before my mother, hands together in front of her, head bent down.

"Sorry Ma'am." She mumbled quickly.

"Leave." My mother said, untouched by Daisy's repentance. I saw it as unfair; the poor girl couldn't have helped laughing.

I didn't say it to my mother. Daisy quickly left the room, still looking at the floor. She shut the door quietly behind her, and I heard her quick footsteps as she run down the corridor, away from my chamber.

After the sound of the footsteps disappeared, I looked back at my mother in fear. What would happen now?

"Isabella." Mother said, her voice cold and unfeeling. My stomach tightened. "This is not the response I have come to expect from you. Do you value that servant above me? I daresay, if that is how you feel then you should refresh your views, and you'd better do it promptly. You will not leave the house today. I bid you to stay here, and pray to God for forgiveness. No daughter of mine will value a maid above me!"

With that she turned and left, leaving the door ajar. For a few minutes, I just stood in front of the mirror, looking at my reflection and waiting for my heart to calm down. I was scared. What now? Mother was right; my first season was to start in only a few days. I would be officially introduced to the public, and it was very important for me to make a good impression to the Chicago's elite. How was I to do well without mother's support?

I tried to forget about it, but I had nothing to occupy myself with. I was in no mood to sit there and pray, like mother suggested. Instead, I sat on my bed and put on my shoes. The room was very quiet without Daisy here. She belonged in this room, and for me it wasn't complete without her.

For a long time she didn't come back. I was worried that she was thrown out into the streets. My mother was not known for her generosity. What would Daisy do then? I wished that I could have talked to her, perhaps given her some money so she wouldn't have to starve. But it was too late.

When I heard the church clock struck ten, I walked over to one of my window and drew back the curtains. That was better. The room was no longer bathed in darkness. I walked over to the other window and opened the curtains too. Then I tried to open the window, let in some fresh, street air. It took me awhile, and my unbelievably tight dress did not help, but I was determined and eventually managed to lift the heavy frame. Then I sat on the window seat, looking outside.

For hours I sat there, looking at the people below, going on with their lives. Servants rushing to the market, women walking through the streets chaperoned by their governesses, carriages passing by with ladies and gentlemen arriving for the season. There were also a lot of children, girls in their little dresses, walking to the park with their nannies or little boys rushing to the market for sweets. Some of the children waved at me, and smiled, recognizing me as an acquaintance to their older brothers or sisters. I returned all their smiles.

It was well after midday when my door finally opened and a maid came in with food. I quickly jumped off the window seat and looked at her, hoping that it was Daisy. My spirits quickly dropped when I noticed that it wasn't her, just some other serving girl. She set the tray of food on my table.

"Where is Daisy?" I asked, before she could speak.

The girl was talked aback by my question. I could tell that she wasn't supposed to converse with me. But I couldn't care if it got her into trouble. I had to know where Daisy was.

"Tell me." I ordered, doing my best to mimic mother's voice. I began contemplating bribery in case she didn't reply.

She still did not speak, only bowed her head.

"What if I paid you to tell me?" I asked with a smile, walking over to my dresser and taking out my purse.

Ah, so this was the kind of deal that she was willing to make. Her head snapped up, and I could tell that I had her.

I took out a few coins. I wouldn't miss them. When I offered it to her, she took the change greedily into her hands, and quickly dropped it into her apron pocket. I smiled at that. The girl was worried that I would change my mind and take the money back. How endearing.

"She's in the kitchen, Miss, being punished. She is to stay there tonight, and she will get back to her service tomorrow. I am to look after you in the meantime." Her head bowed again.

"And what exactly is her punishment?" I asked of the girl, concerned. However, she would not reply, no matter how much money I offered. I had to settle for waiting to find out myself.

"Some tea, Miss?" the serving girl asked when she was sure I gave up on my inquiry.

"Yes, please." I replied. "Prey, what is your name?"

That night, I had trouble sleeping. There was simply too much on my mind that, in the quietness of the night, I could not evade. Throughout the day I have kept myself busy, writing letters to friends and sewing patterns onto a cushion that I have started to saw the week before. I have also spent a majority of my afternoon talking to the servant, Anna. Her shyness had begun to slip away after a few hours of my aimless chatter, and she told me about her family. I felt pity and compassion for the girl with so many little brothers and sisters, all living in the little cottage with their mother. But I truly believed the bad conditions were somewhat beneficial for Anna; it shaped her kind, humble personality.

Before dinner time I was called to dine with father and mother once more. They had some guests over, some of my father's old collage friends. The addition to the family dinner took away my chance to apologize for my earlier behavior and it wasn't until we were sitting in the evening parlor, entertaining the guests as they made plans to spend the night at our house that I got my chance. I tried to talk to mother but she silenced my apologies with a cold look, clearly warning me to not make a scene in from of the guests.

While sitting there, mother nonchalantly mentioned that Elisabeth Masen would be coming for lunch, with her son, the very next day. This seemed news to father and his guests, but they sounded all the more eager to see their old acquaintance Elisabeth. My chest contracted in stress at the news. I had difficulty breathing for a minute, but still, I could not say anything to mother. It wasn't until the men excused themselves father's library that I could finally talk to her. However, by then I was too exhausted for the serious conversation that was surely coming. Besides, by then I was so angry that I could hardly contain myself. The tension was thick between us, mother waiting for my submission, me fighting for self-control.

This was her way of showing power; she convinced people that they did something wrong, manipulating them into feeling guilt and then showing her curtsey by acknowledging their apologies. I have lived with it for years, accepting my faults without any questions. But really, what did I do wrong? I did nothing to deserve the anger. I didn't choose Daisy above mother; I have merely laughed at the comical situation that presented itself. If mother was paranoid with her insecurities, it was her trouble, not mine.

So after bidding her a short and emotionless goodnight, I moved upstairs to my room, fists clenched tightly at my sides.

There, Anna swiftly helped me out of my dress and into my nightgown. While I was getting ready for bed, my anger dissolved into fear. My mind was catching up with my earlier actions. What had I done? It was not in my interest to anger mother more than was absolutely necessary. I considered the best ways to make amends to her. All the while, I was moving the pearl necklace that hung on my neck through my fingers, nervously twining it round my hand. I was worried, reflecting on the events of the day.

I refused to take off the necklace as Anna brushed my hair back into a single braid, still fumbling with it when I got into my bed and turned off the electric light. Father, initially so aversed to the new invention, warmed to it so much that electricity was now available in every room in the house, including the servants quarters.

And so, with the curtains closed and the room plunged into darkness, I lay in bed thinking about my tiring day. I had weak nerves, and so much stress was making me physically exhausted. But my fatigue did nothing to bring me the peaceful sleep that I was hoping for. After I prayed, I lay awake for hours just... just thinking.

I was thinking of the mysterious Edward Masen, the man my mother hoped would find a place for me in his heart. Would he really? I had many doubts about that. After all why would he? In his seventeen years he would have had plenty of opportunities to find an attractive woman. He evidently found no one pleasing enough. Surely there was nothing about _me _that could hold his attention in any way. I felt nausea sweep over me as I thought of disappointing my mother _and _her dearest friend Elisabeth Masen.

That's when I vowed to myself that I would not disappoint either of them. I would capture Edward's attention, no matter what it took. It would hopefully please his mother, save him from the war, and allow me to make amends to mother. I smiled a little at that. After making that decision, I fell into light and troubled sleep, anticipating the morning when I would finally get my chance to see Daisy again and, much less pleasantly, when I would have to face mother and the yet unknown Edward Masen.

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**So, did you like it? If you did, please follow and review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**This is a long AN, and I guess that if you really want to, you could skip it. But I'd rather you read it...**

**First of all, I would like to thank you guys for actually bothering to read this little story, I haven't expected people to like it. It means a lot to me that you are interested in this. I have a few chapters written so far, and I'll try to update a new chapter every Monday morning, but please don't hold me to my word. Most of the time I wake up too late to even eat breakfast, let alone go on the computer. So I might update after school instead, which is at 3 pm. Anyhow, a new chapter should be here every Monday.**

**Secondly, I'm not sure how historically accurate this story is, so please excuse any mistakes of that kind. I tried to find out about the early 20th century, but the information I found was very general and I needed details. So in some places, I just made things up. You are very welcome to point out any inaccuracies. **

**Oh, yeah, another thing is that I haven't had very many reviews. I know that _I_ don't usually review other stories either, but I'd appreciate it if you could give me some constructive criticism. But any reviews would be welcome!**

**And to make sure you won't be too disappointed later on, the story so far seems to have very little plot. I don't that that there will be any complications or twists coming...**

**Well, that's all I have to say, and just so that you know, not all the author's notes will be so long, I just had to make up for not having much of an AN in the first chapter. **

**On that note, please just read and review :P **

**_From the last chapter:_**_ That's when I vowed to myself that I would not disappoint either of them. I would capture Edward's attention, no matter what it took. It would hopefully please his mother, save him from the war, and allow me to make amends to my mother. I smiled a little at that. After making that decision, I fell into light and troubled sleep, anticipating the morning when I would finally get my chance to see Daisy again and, much less pleasantly, when I would have to face mother and the yet unknown Edward Masen. _

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I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder. I turned away, hoping that Daisy would leave me alone for a few more minutes. I didn't get nearly enough sleep the night before. But thinking of the previous night, memories of that day came back. I sat up in bed swiftly, sleep seeping out of my hazy thoughts. Daisy was back! Currently shaking me awake.

"Daisy!" I cried in pleasure, outstretching my arms for Daisy to hug me. I had so much to tell her. But first, I had to make sure that she was all right.

"I'm okay." She said, laughing at my enthusiastic greeting, and all my questions regarding her well being. I was so glad she was with me again. I knew that my behaviour was not right for my status, but I couldn't calm down enough to care.

It turned out that Daisy really _was _okay. After being scolded, she was placed under the charge of the cook for her punishment. But the cook was a very kind person, as I had many occasions to find out. When I was a child, I was often sent to the kitchens for punishments. There, the cook would comfort me, often offering me cakes and allowing me to help her bake. As a result, I have spent many a day's downstairs, successfully evading my governess and spending time with the cook and servants.

So, except for being slightly stressed out and sleep deprived, Daisy was her normal self. She listened to my tale of the day like a best friend should, not once interrupting and reacting with gasps or shaking of the head at all the right moments. It was a comfort to spill my heart to Daisy, and I did not hold back on anything unless it would be considered uncivil to mention. Daisy understood.

As strange as it was, except for Daisy I did not have this carefree kind friendship with anyone else. I never fit in with people; I was a social outcast.

Well, maybe not in the intended purpose of the word, but an outcast all the same. I did have friends and peers to socialise with. I just never knew what to say to them. Every word that left my mouth was always lined with worry of how it would be received and that decreased my contribution to a conversation to a bare minimum.

So I spoke my heart out to Daisy as often as I could in¾ between my social events and her chores. My happiness, my worries, my secret speculation; it was all safe in Daisy's lovely heart. That's why it was so hard to consider losing her; I would have been left alone in the world.

I was crying by the time I was finished. The worry and stress from the previous night came back in full force, putting me in an almost-depressed state. It took a while for me to calm down enough to start the normal morning routine. After taking deep breaths for at least twenty minutes, I was finally composed. Daisy dressed me, and then after a brief good luck hug, I moved downstairs for breakfast.

The morning passed quickly, father and his friends occupying my mother so that I had time alone to think. I appreciated it, but even without my mother's attention directed at me, I could feel the anger emitting from her. I did my best to ignore it, or at least to pretend that it didn't get to me. I was proud of myself. My teeth were clenched in anger, but my facial expression was smooth and faraway.

After breakfast I spent time outside with my governess. I had some mail to read through from friends, so I occupied myself with that as we sat under the cherry tree in the garden. My governess was reading, and I teased her about how helplessly romantic she was. Her annoyance for me was flawed by her compassion for the book characters. The effect was most enjoyable.

Just after twelve I was hurried upstairs to get changed, so that I could take tea with MrsMasen and her son. Butterflies were fluttering in my stomach, but they weren't at all gentle, and Daisy had to leave the laces of my corset even looser than was usual. After being made presentable, I waited until I was sent for by one of the maids, and then with a squeeze of hand from Daisy I left to meet the guests.

As I descended the stairs and entered the lunch parlour, I was relieved that no attention was paid to me. Everyone was gathered about the table, talking and laughing loudly. It was a while before anyone noticed my presence, and that gave me a brief time to take a quick look at every person in the room. Mother was talking to one of father's companions, laughing half-heartedly at whatever story he was telling. Her eyes kept sweeping the room, ever the good hostess, making sure that everyone was enjoying themselves. I could tell that the man talking to mother didn't notice her distractions. He was too bewitched by her to notice anything at all.

Father looked a little less enthusiastic as he talked to his other friend and ElisabethMasen. The two were animated, but Father stayed bemused. But he was always like that, at least as far as I could remember.

Then there was the infamous Edward himself, standing a little away from the others and admiring the paintings above the vacant fireplace. I looked at him the longest, noticing his well shaped profile, how he had a perfectly straight nose, how his long eyelashes swept his cheek every time he blinked. He didn't look at all like his mother, and I tried to remember his father so that I could compare them. There was definitely a greater amount of shared features between the two men. Except that Edward was much more handsome. The sole sight of him made me breathless.

He was the first one to notice me standing in the doorway, and he threw me a crooked smile, oblivious to my staring. Naturally, I blushed, and his smile wavered a little before it got wider. Thankfully, MrsMasen spotted me at that moment, and exclaimed upon it.

"Isabella!" she walked towards me then and everyone's attention was turned to us. "My dearest child, look at you! You turned out better than anyone could have hoped!" My cheek received a generous squeeze, a welcome gesture that I have yearned to feel from my own mother ever since I could remember. Oh, how I wished that Elisabeth could have been my family. Then she could tend to me all she pleased, and mother could not make me marry her son. If only the world was a simpler place.

"MrsMasen. How do you do." I replied politely feeling my mother's eyes upon me. I would do nothing more to disappoint her. She, seeing the obedience in my face, decided to introduce Edward.

After his name was uttered, he bowed his head and walked towards me, the easy, crooked smile never disappearing off his face. Every time he looked at me, I blushed more furiously and his grin got wider. I was about to curtsey, but before I could, Edward took my hand and lifted it to his lips. As used as I was to that gesture, this was different. At Edward's touch, a current passed up my arm, across my shoulder, and down my back, causing me shiver. I hoped that Edward did not notice, but seeing his shocked expression made me certain that he did. As soon as my hand was released, I blushed feverishly and looked away.

After a moment of silence between us, Edward cleared his throat.

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Swan." He said politely, the smile starting to play on the edges of his lips again. I smiled back shyly, unable to form a verbal answer.

We both fell silent again, and my slowly fading blush returned in full force. I was eternally grateful when mother, seeing that I could take no more of the attention, called everybody to the table. The fact that she was doing something to benefit me made me hope that I was forgiven for my earlier actions. But one look on her hostile expression quickly dispatched that hope. Of course, she only wanted me to have better chances with Edward, so that his Elisabeth would be pleased.

I sighed quietly at that as I was moving towards the table, and Edward, walking by my side, looked at me with a silent question in his eyes. I looked to the floor, and didn't dare to look up until I was safely accommodated. Edward tucked in my chair as I was sitting down, and then took a seat by my side. I risked a look at him, but he was looking at his mother as she smiled at him, fondly. He smiled right back, and I had a feeling that there was some sort of silent communication passing between them. At that moment, I felt intense jealousy; how was it that Edward got such an attentive mother and I didn't? The only communication that I received from mother was the silent glare, telling me when I have stepped out of the line.

Lunch passed quickly as I attempted to make small talk with Edward. It started off very awkwardly, and if Edward had not spoken, I was sure that the whole of lunch would be spent without a word.

"The weather is lovely for May, do you not think so?" I heard Edward say quietly from my side. He had a lovely, velvet voice, quiet, collected and very reassuring. I looked at him, and then cringed away from the proximity. I haven't realised it when he spoke, but his face was merely inches from mine. As I drew back, so did he, the crooked smile turning into an apologetic frown.

"Sorry." He said hastily, sounding sincerely repentant. I instantly regretted my unconsidered actions. The silence fell again briefly, until I spoke.

"Um... Y-yes" I stuttered. Edward looked confused, so, blushing, I elaborated on my answer, my voice stronger this time. "Yes, the weather is rather nice. I do try to take full advantage of it. Only earlier this morning, I was in the garden, enjoying the sunshine. But I'm afraid that it won't last long."

That was it. I had nothing more to say about the weather, and it seemed that neither did Edward.

"Yes, indeed," he said calmly and softly, looking me straight in the eye until I could no longer bear it. I diverted my gaze, back to my forgotten food. Although I haven't paid attention to it before, Edward had beautiful green eyes, precisely the same shade as his mother. Even that small, insignificant detail had the power to make him more attractive. Again, envy pooled in my stomach. All these good looks were wasted on a boy.

And then fear replaced the jealousy. With the strikingly good looks, what could he want with me? The plain me, with not one feature in my face to hold his piercing gaze. I felt my face fall.

"Perhaps if the chance ever presents itself, you would be inclined to show me the lovely gardens of this estate. I have heard wonders about them." I had a feeling that Edward was only forcing the suggestion out, to carry on the conversation, probably noticing my sad expression and feeling pity for me. But I could not pass the invitation to spend more time with him. I nodded, and the smile that I have already come to love reappeared on his handsome face once more.

That small exchange was the icebreaker. We spent the rest of the lunch talking about literature, poetry, favourite plays. In time, I came to forget my unadorned looks.

It turned out we were both going to see the Midsummer Night's Dream the next day. For some unknown reason, that made me even more excited about going to the play. I chastened myself for getting my hopes up, but my imagination could not be tamed. Thousands of different scenarios passed through my mind, each one more colourful that the previous. And all of them centred on Edward and me being together, happily married.

After luncheon was over, our little party moved to the Drawing Room. There I continued to speak to Edward, without any interruptions from the others. But that was hardly surprising; my mother alone could hold the attention of the three men, so that Edward and I would not be disturbed, and she had MrsMason there to help her. There were no more awkward silences between us, although not every moment was filled with chatter. It was simply the fact that I have gotten accustomed enough with Edward to feel comfortable in peace. The thought was exhilarating.

Finally, it was time for Edward to go. All the guests were leaving collectively, father's colleagues requesting a car to take them away just as Elisabeth and Edward were leaving. We said our goodbyes at the door, and I first embraced MrsMasen, and then wished my father's friends a comfortable journey. Edward was the last person that I said goodbye to. He took my hand in his, and looking me straight in the eye lifted my hand to his lips. My knees could barely support me from the emotions that passed through my soul, happiness the most dominant of them all.

"Until to-morrow, Miss Swan." Edward said, always the gentleman, and with a squeeze, he let go of my hand. Then he left after his mother. For a minute, the hallway was completely silent. Father has retreated to his study, set on attending to some business. I looked after the closed door, not realising that mother was standing behind me until I spun around, heading for the staircase to my room.

"Ugh, s'cuse me" I said hastily, walking past her. She didn't stop me. I was halfway up the stairs before she called me.

"Isabella!" Her voice was empty of any emotion. I squeezed my fist tightly, dying to escape and deal with my feelings. But I turned to face mother, hoping that only endless patience showed in my eyes. Mother regarded me for a moment, and then spoke again.

"I'll inform your governess that she will be accompanying you to the theatre tomorrow."

I was confused. Why was she telling me this?

"But mother, why?"

"Because, my child" she said with satisfaction in her voice, "It would not be fit to see MrMasen and you together in public without a chaperone, before you are married." Her faith in her project left me breathless and motionless. She smiled at my expression.

"Well, run long now." She said at last, when I didn't move an inch. "I'm sure that a girl your age has better things to do that stand around, pondering on her future husband."

Hearing the hint of dismissal in her voice, I made an attempt to move. When I regained control of my body, I run upstairs, and after closing the door of my bedroom tightly behind me, I slid onto the floor, feeling very faint.

When I was feeling slightly better, I rose again and pirouetted clumsily over to my mirror. From the dresser I took a hairbrush, and moved it through my untied hair. Staring at my reflection, I could hardly recognise the person in the mirror. The girl, or rather woman standing before me had beautiful rosy cheeks, mouth turned up in a mischievous smile on her lips. Her wide, brown eyes were glowing as she stared at me, her expression fascinated yet incomprehensive. I had trouble accepting the fact that the woman was me. And it was all due to Edward. Within only a few, short hours, he changed me completely. Gone was the shy, self-conscious Isabella, and in her place stood a bold, confident woman. I could stand it no longer. I put my brush down, and danced towards the window seat, desperate for some air to wash my overheated skin. There I sat, impatiently waiting for Daisy's return so I could tell my tale.

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**Thanks for reading, and if you enjoyed it please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Thank you to all the people who read and enjoy this story, I'm very glad you like it. Also thank you to people who write reviews, even if it's only to say that you can't wait for the next chapter. I still like to read that. And I definitely try to review other stories too, now:))**

**Hope you like it, and please review! **

**From the last chapter: **_The girl, or rather woman standing before me had beautiful rosy cheeks, mouth turned up in a mischievous smile on her lips. Her wide, brown eyes were glowing as she stared at me, her expression fascinated yet incomprehensive. I had trouble accepting the fact that the woman was me. And it was all due to Edward. Within only a few, short hours, he changed me completely. Gone was the shy, self-conscious Isabella, and in her place stood a bold, confident woman. I could stand it no longer. I put my brush down, and danced towards the window seat, desperate for some air to wash my overheated skin. There I sat, impatiently waiting for Daisy's return so I could tell my tale._

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I pressed the keys of the piano, cringing when I hit the wrong note.

"Isabella, focus." I heard my tutor tell me from my side, and I attempted to play the simple melody again. The results were no better than before.

"Ah, Bella, I think we'd better stop it there. You clearly cannot focus. Is it that drama tonight? Are you excited to see it?"

I nodded my head, mutely, and looked up at my teacher. She was so understanding, and I hoped that she would see my desperation to get away.

Truth be told, all my lessons went similarly that morning. Nothing could hold my interest, except the memory of Edward's eyes. The beautiful, green eyes that starred in my dreams and occupied my mind every minute when I was awake. The play didn't even matter anymore. All I wanted to do was see him.

My tutor stood up, and started collecting the music sheets that were placed on the piano. I stood up with her, and collected the last few pieces, handing them to her. She put them in her satchel bag.

"I'll inform your mother that the lesson is over. Until the next time, Isabella."

As the sound of her footsteps ceased, I sat back down on the piano stool and stared off into space. It was when the piano teacher said her goodbyes again that I came back to Earth.

"Um, goodbye." I answered, but walked her to the door. I watched as she took her bike and rode away. Then-since the butler wasn't there- I closed the door and walked downstairs to the kitchens.

"MrsGibbins," I nodded to mother's maid as I passed her on the stairs. She nodded back to me but made no reply. I didn't mind. I was never her favourite, and she tolerated me on her best day. And since this was evidently not her best day, it was better if I didn't push it.

When I walked into the kitchens, the loud chatter of the servants stopped rapidly and chairs scraped across the floor as everyone stood up. There were plates on the table, and cups of tea, and I realised that they have been eating.

"Oh, please, sit down." I said quickly, and after a minute, they did. Silence fell, and all the eyes were focused on me. I blushed and stammered through my speech.

"Um, I-I just c-came to see, um, if MrsFinley is here? I mean, um, now?" I looked down at my feet, and moved my hands nervously. _Honestly! _I chastened myself. _How do you ever want your own house when you can't even talk to your servants?_

"She's not here, Miss," one of the servants replied. "She is gone down to the market, with the new scullery maid. Is there anything we should tell her?"

I shook my head, and turned to leave.

"Sorry for the disturbance" I started to say, but as I bumped into someone and only managed to say "Sorry for-oh!" it was MrsGibbins standing behind me, her expression void of any emotion.

"Isabella, your mother requests your presence in the library. There are some matters she needs to discuss with you and your father." I nodded, completely ignoring the fact that she called me by my given name. I was too busy thinking about talking to father and mother. Was it something about Edward? Was there some new plans regarding him? I rushed upstairs to find out.

"Father, Mother." I greeted them breathlessly as I closed the library door behind me. "You wanted to see me?"

Mother took her time replying, while she stitched on the cushion she was holding by the tambour. Father was deeply engrossed in a thick volume on his desk, and it seemed he didn't notice me come in. I stood before them, my heart racing, partly because I was out of breath and partly because I was anticipating the news.

"Oh, yes darling. There's something we wanted to tell you." Mother poked the needle through the fabric and pulled it until the thread was tight. I watched her do it as I waited for her to continue.

"Yes?" I said at last when mother didn't carry on.

She looked up at me, and her expression was innocently surprised. And entirely controlled, of course. "I beg your pardon?" she asked, and smiled slightly.

"Why is it that you want to talk about, mother?" I asked her, although I was absolutely certain that she remembered. But from experience, it seemed best to play along.

"Oh yes, of course. Your father and I decided that you will spend your summer in Spain. Isn't that right, MrSwan?" she turned to father, expecting consent.

"Yes, I suppose," He replied, still preoccupied, until he turned the page of his book and placed the bookmark inside. He looked up at me then. "Your Spanish tutor praised your skills and your accent. It is time that you see if you really have learned something." Seeing my face fall, he added, "Are you not thrilled, Isabella? Are you not grateful?"

He wasn't angry, but he was definitely al little offended at my lack of excitement. After all, he was offering to send me aboard, to Europe, no less.

"No, Papa, I am excited, of course I am!" I walked over and kissed him on the creased cheek. He seemed to notice that I called him 'papa' as well. It was a long time since I last did that. He smiled, happily.

"Well, I'm glad. Actually, you have your mother to thank for it. It was her idea." He chuckled. I let go of father's neck and looked at mother, in acknowledgment.

"Thank you, Mama." I used the sweetened name for her as well. The reaction wasn't nearly as nice as it was for father, but she dared not say anything in front of him.

"It's quite alright, quite alright." She said quietly, modestly, should father notice. He didn't; he was reading the book again.

"Well, is there anything else?" I asked, hope of news from Edward arising once more. But when mother said no, I walked out dejectedly.

Why did mother do this to me? Why was she so eager to send me to Spain, away from home, and more importantly away from Edward? Did she really hate me on such a deep level, that she wanted me to lose any happiness?

No, she wasn't like that. She might feel hatred towards me, but it certainly wasn't the case for Edward and Elisabeth. Mother doted on the Masen family, and she wouldn't want any harm to Edward. And that would undoubtly happen if I didn't marry him; he would go to war. I was surprised with my own conviction that marrying Edward was the only choice.

Mother must have had another motive, I decided as I took a turn in the gardens, afterwards. My only problem at the moment was the fact that I had no idea what the motive was. Feeling a little brave, I decided to find out, later. But since I was already outside, I decided to seek out the young gardener, who only recently joined the household. We haven't been properly acquainted yet, but I certainly wanted to meet him. He seemed so nice, and his smile was so warm. He wasn't difficult to locate, and I found him by the garden shed, taking out a spade. He was wearing old, ripped clothes and a straw hat was sitting on his head, hiding his tanned face from the sun. He was whistling to himself as he proceeded to put the spade and some flower bulbs into a wheel-barrow, a nice, lively tune. I spent a few seconds just listening to it, and I recognised it as the 'Horatio's Drive' theme song. As he was about leave, I called him.

"Hey! Um, I'm sorry, but I don't know your name. Can you wait?" I blushed at my silly speech. Really, how did I even construct that sentence?

But it served its purpose. The gardener turned to look at me, partway hidden behind a bush by the stone path. He laughed lightly, and the laughter was so carefree that, surprisingly, I laughed along.

"Sorry," I apologized when the laughter stopped and I grinned widely.

"Now that's al' right, I'm Jack." He let go of the wheel-barrow, and it came crashing to the ground with a loud noise. I jumped a little, and Jack laughed again.

"Right, sorry." He said, and offered me his hand. Whether he meant it as a greeting or support I was not sure, but I took his hand all the same, as he quickly lifted my hand to his lips. The skin on his palm was rough with hard work, and while it felt very strong and reassuring, it also made me slightly uncomfortable.

"Um, I'm Isabella." I said, and quickly took my hand back. I did it discreetly, but he still seemed to notice caution with which I did it. He went back to his wheel-barrow, picked it up and started to move it along the path, away from me.

"So, Isabella," he said to me when I moved along behind him, and I could tell that he was smiling again. "What brings you here?"

I thought about my answer. I couldn't very well tell him that I wanted his company. That would sound improper. Instead, I just shrugged my shoulders, but quickly realised that he would not see it. so I answered, after another second of thought. "Boredom, I suppose." I said, striving to sound non-chalant but at the same time worrying that Jack would get offended. He didn't. Instead, he turned and smiled at me.

"Alright. An' are you still bored?" he enquired.

"N-no, I guess not. I quite like the gardens, especially when I have company. Then it never gets boring."

"Good good." Jack said, and faced forwards again, moving along so swiftly that I had trouble catching up. He resumed whistling.

I spent quite a while walking with him, but whilst it was refreshing to go about at the brisk pace, there was no further conversations. I decided to leave.

"Well, Jack," I said at last. "I suppose I should get going now. It was nice to meet you. And I will see you around."

"Yes, you just do that, Isabella," he said, and smiled widely. Then he turned back to work and started to whistle the same tune again. I sighed, and made my way to the house.

But before I could get inside, I spotted someone else in the garden, waving at me delicately. As I moved closer I realised that it was Janet, a friend of mine, and I set a fast pace as I walked towards her.

"I found her, boys!" she called to someone, and I stopped when I realised that she wasn't alone. I watched as two people emerged from behind the nearby trees, and my heart stopped when I recognised them. One was Frederick, commonly known as Fred, my second cousin. He was easily recognisable, with his huge frame and his wide smile.

The other person was the reason for the failure of my heart. He was tall and lean, and he had a disarray of brown and ginger hair, almost glowing in the sunlight. Well dressed, with finely made clothes that complemented both his figure and drew attention to his pale skin. His face was open and clearly intrigued, a slight crooked smile playing on his lips. And the beautiful, beautiful eyes that have been on my mind since the night before, which were fixed on me. I blushed and looked down, but at the same time started to walk again.

"Well, look who's here." Janet said playfully. "Where have you been, MissSwan? We just about gave up the searching expedition."

"Good thing we didn't, eh?" Fred added for good measure. "Otherwise we wouldn't have found you in the bushes, all flushed and excited. What _have _you been up to, MissSwan?"

I stared at him in disbelief. He thought I was up to something? Really, the nerve of that boy!

"I, ugh, I... why would you even imply that, Fred?" I hedged, because I really have been up to something. I have been talking to the gardener, all alone in the empty garden, and I knew nothing of him. Now what would Fred make out of that! Not to think of how humiliating it would be to mention it in front of Edward...

I hesitantly looked up at him, and his gaze was still fixed on me, a merry glint n his eye. As I came to expect, he smiled widely when I looked at him, and I smiled back a little. I heard Fred starting to grumble an answer for me, before Janet interrupted with something alike to "give the girl a break" but their little disputation ceased to matter. I was still looking at Edward, who took my hand in his and lifted it to his lips.

Unlike Jack's, Edward's hand was soft and nourished, probably treated with some creams or oils, but it was still strong and just a little firm. But after all, he was a man, and what man didn't enjoy a good game of baseball or cricket to shape the muscles? Handling the equipment wouldn't leave Edward's hand so soft. It brought me comfort.

"MissSwan," Edward said, blowing warm air on my hand. I shivered, and he immediately released my hand, where it fell limply to my side.

"MrMasen," I replied and curtseyed a little.

To my annoyance, Janet decided to interrupt then.

"Well, I see you two have already been acquainted. That's good. Well, Bella, Fred came here today to say goodbye. He's going travelling soon." I looked over at Fred and he nodded his head solemnly.

"Do you want to go?" I asked gently, should the answer be no. But to my relief, a smile spread across Fred's broad lips and, in his usual manner, he shouted "Hell, yeah!" I cringed at his language and Janet hit him lightly on the arm. They both laughed. I have previously come to notice that there was affection between the two of them. I came to ignore it in time, but now my speculations sprang back to life again.

I was about to go inside and get light refreshments, but Janet offered to do it instead. Fred tagged along with her, and so I was left alone with Edward. It wasn't my plan, but it certainly suited me fine. I wanted to be alone with him.

We walked along for a while in silence, towards a little secluded bench. Janet knew the place, so she and Fred could join us.

"Well," Edward finally said. "It seems that my desire to see the gardens came sooner than I expected. It really is very pretty." I nodded my head in complete agreement, but didn't even glance at the flowers. Why would I want to admire the nature when Edward was standing next to me?

"Who tends the flowers for you?" Edward asked, as he walked a little way off to look closely at the some orchids.

"We have a gardener," I replied. "His name is Jake, and he is around here somewhere. Perhaps you'll get a chance to complement him on his flowers.

"Perhaps. They really are pretty." And with that, Edward took hold of one flower stem and began to twist it.

"No!" I half shouted, half whispered, trying to make sure we weren't overheard. "These are the gardeners! He will kill me if he sees this." But Edward was not reacting to my words. He smiled and winked at me, and then pulled the flower from the rest, leaving a broken, lonely flower stem. Surely anyone would notice this.

Edward then walked towards me and offered me the flower. When I hesitated to take it, he smirked and put the flower in my hair instead, by the side of my head. I held perfectly still while he did that. Then he leaned forwards and whispered to me conspiratorially.

"Don't worry," His warm breath caressed my face lightly and dazzled me. "If he kills you, I promise to avenge your murder."

I had to laugh at that and Edward leaned back again. Oh, such a promise would really make me feel better anytime.

"Oh, but would it not be rather more romantic if you would killed yourself out of guilt for my murder?"

"Well, I suppose I could do both, if that is your desire." Edward replied after some thought, and I considered his words for half a second. I wasn't sure, but I thought that the teasing tone was gone. So I shook my head.

Then Edward smiled again, and we walked down the path.

When we got to the bench by the pond, Edward stopped and asked to stay there. It wasn't that far from the bench I was aiming for, and so I complied. We sat on the grass, and Edward stared off into the water.

"Do you not have gardens by your house, Edward?" I asked, seeing his overwhelmed fascination.

He looked at me when he answered.

"We do. Rather large ones, I might add. But I grew up in the gardens, and they hold no more interest for me. Although since I started school, I seem to appreciate them a little more again. That is the one good thing that school teaches you"

I was intrigued. I always wondered what school might be like, but mother never even considered the possibility to send me there. The reason for that was unknown to me. And so I asked Edward to tell me about his school.

When Janet returned with Fred and the refreshments, the topic of the conversation was changed. We talked about literature again, and Janet shared some gossip with us. When we got to the subject of vacations, I told them that father was sending me to Spain for the whole summer. That brought a little desperation to Edward's eyes, and I wondered yet again about mother's motives for the decision. I didn't want Edward to look so sad.

But soon it was time to say goodbye. I wouldn't get a chance to see Fred again before I left for Europe; he was completely missing the season, choosing to travel with is friends instead. I couldn't blame him for that. I wanted to escape the season too.

Janet and I made arrangements to see each other again the next day, and as for Edward, it was only a brief separation; we would be seeing each other at the theatre very soon afterwards. I was happy for that, but my heart still ached from having to see him go. After they left, I once again dejectedly walked upstairs to get Daisy to change my clothes for dinner. I wasn't very hungry, but I wanted to talk to mother. There were some things that I wanted to find out.

It was only when I was in my room that I noticed the flower in my hair again. I took it out, smelled it, and placed it on my writing desk, eager for it to dry so I could safely fold it away.

I was smiling as I though; _something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue._

Well, I already had the first flower from Edward, and by the time our wedding was here it would be old and withered, but still with just as much meaning... Perfect. The first of the four things, complete...

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**End note: I just wanted to explain a few things. Although I never planned to involve the other Cullens in this story, since it's sort of the previous reincarnation of Bella and the chances are she wouldn't meet all the Cullens in her past life. But I still made characters similar to them. So Daisy was supposed to be Alice, sort of, and Janet was alike to be Rosalie while Fred was similar to Emmett. Did anyone guess that? **

**Oh, and the gardener was Jacob, but nothing will happen between him and Isabella. I find her and Edward far too perfect for each other. **

**The rest of the characters I can't involve. Jasper would already be a vampire, and Esme was only supposed to be changed a after a few years after Edward. As for Carlisle, he will appear later on in the story. **

**Take care until next Monday! **


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Twilight doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Okay, the chapter completed at 10 o'clock, on a Sunday. At least that's in England. Just a few hours until I put it up. **

**Reading back over the last chapters, I noticed that they aren't very consistent in the writing style and there are some spelling mistakes. Those minor details annoy me quite a lot, so I'll edit it a little right after I post this chapter. **

**This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Katherine, because she demanded the dedication. And you people who enjoy this story have quite a bit to thank Kathy for; she showed me this website, and encouraged me to post. So, Kathy, I love you lots. **

**Also, thank you to all who follow or favourite this story and special thank you for people who review. It means a lot to me that you like it. It would, however, be nice if more people reviewed. There is something very flattering about hearing the more verbal support and appreciation... **

**Anyways, please like this chapter and pretty, pretty please, review! **

**From the last chapter: **_It was only when I was in my room that I noticed the flower in my hair again. I took it out, smelled it, and placed it on my writing desk, eager for it to dry so I could safely fold it away. _

_I was smiling as I though; something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue._

_Well, I already had the first flower from Edward, and by the time our wedding was here it would be old and withered, but still with just as much meaning... Perfect. The first of the four things, complete... _

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After the flower was safely put away in one of my books, I called Daisy in to help me change. She did so promptly and without any chatter, which was strange for her but I hardly paid attention. Like throughout the whole day, I was thinking about Edward Mason. Except that I now had another encounter with him to analyse. The brief, stolen moments, spent alone in the gardens.

He gave me a flower. Seemingly such a small gesture at the time, it came to grow in my mind until it was all I could think about. It made my heart beat faster; I didn't have enough experience to determine if it was custom to receive flowers from barely known men, but it certainly seemed very pleasing. And so very sweet. How could someone so sweet and loving want to go away to the war? It didn't make sense to me. Was Edward really so eager to receive the after-war glory? That seemed unlikely.

Several times during the change of clothes I sighed quietly, happily, and each time Daisy looked at me strangely. But not once did she comment on it. Again, I didn't notice it, at least at the time.

During supper, mother sat next to me instead of taking her custom place by the right hand side of my father, and talked to me about ways to behave around Edward. Father definitely noticed, but he didn't seem to mind, signing it off as a female bonding time. Mother's list of things to avoid doing was very long, and ever growing. 'Frowning, squirming, being timid and withdrawn' was just some of the things that I was to not—under any circumstances—do. But truthfully, I didn't mind. When I was with Edward, things were very relaxed, and my actions came to me easily, naturally, without me thinking about it too much. With Edward, I was always thrilled but very light headed at the same time. The mix was very intoxicating, and there was only one good word that came into my mind when I thought about the way Edward and I were—attraction. And I certainly wasn't about to mention it to my mother. Just the thought brought a lively blush to my cheeks.

"Oh, Isabella, that's it! You need to blush more often. That rosy tinge to your pale cheeks is exactly what you need!"

_Well, that certainly wouldn't be a problem_ I thought. I was always blushing, out of pure embarrassment more that out of my own free will. But I still smiled happily at that. Well, at least I could do that one thing right. And that tone of voice mother used! It was almost complementary. I was truly having a good day.

After supper I, along with my governess, left for the theatre. I was dressed beautifully, in a blue and white dress that mother insisted worked well with my pale complexion. It was white from the top to the waits, with little, blue embroidered flowers decorating the low cut cleavage. From the waist down the fabric was a deep blue shade, smoothly cascading down my body, making me seemingly graceful. The dress had no sleeves, instead some lace was clinging to my bare arms, setting off a contrast between the dark material and my alabaster skin. A shawl was draped over my shoulders, protecting me from the chilly night, but I was far from cold. Just the thought of seeing Edward kept me nice and warm. And I hoped he would appreciate my effort to look pretty; usually, I didn't bother trying to look this nice.

As our car pulled up outside the theatre, my door was open and a hand offered to escort me. I took the support, stepping down from the car and almost falling down in the process. Only the hand that was still holding onto me stopped me from falling. My face turned red, and I thought of how proud mother would be. I definitely wouldn't be lacking any colour in my cheeks tonight.

Then my governess joined me, stepping around the car because she exited from the other side. I stretched my neck and looked around myself briefly, trying to spot a familiar face in the crowd outside the theatre. Still, there was no one. I wanted to stay outside for a while longer, in case Edward should have shown up, but my governess insisted on waiting inside.

We wandered a little after stepping into the entry hall, occasionally seeing someone that my governess knew, stopping to speak for a while. However, I didn't join in any of the conversations. My eyes kept scanning the room, looking for _him. _But he was nowhere to be found.

Finally, after a quarter of an hour of aimless wandering and stalling, I was ready to give up. In a last act of desperation, I left my governess and made my way over to the ticket stall. There, I asked for the list of people who were attending, looking specifically for Edward Mason. His name wasn't on the list.

I felt like crying, and only my stubborn nature stopped the tears from flowing. My reaction seemed stupid even to me. In the previous fifteen minutes, I have considered the fact that he might have changed his mind, decided not to come. Besides, I didn't know Edward that well. Two meetings—that's all we had, and already I felt betrayed. It was silly. I was rational and level headed. No one should have been able to get to me like that. Besides, I knew that Edward couldn't like me. He was good looking, and always happy, and collected, and he's seen the world. There were prettier girls out there, girls that Edward would like, both by the looks and the personality. I knew that. So why was I so sad?

Then answer came straight after the question. It seemed that Edward wasn't the person that I thought he was, and that was upsetting. He seemed so nice and so kind when it came to caring for other people. But he lied. He told me that he was going to attend the theatre, letting me get my hopes up, letting me think that we were going in the right direction. But he never planned to come; he never even bought tickets. I have hugely misjudged his character if I thought that he would take my feeling into consideration.

My head told me to feel angry with him, to break the newly made acquaintance, but I couldn't find it in me to do that. All I could feel was disappointment.

I quickly walked back to my governess, interrupting whoever she was talking to and asked her to leave. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold my emotions in for much longer, and the fact that I was angry as well as upset just meant that the tears would come that much sooner. There must have been something in my face that warned the governess of my coming outburst, because she quickly said goodbye to whoever her unnamed companion was and followed me outside.

The valet looked surprised at my request to bring the automobile back round, but he complied anyway. Once inside the cab, I covered my face with my hands, expecting the tears to come. But they didn't. Instead, I was left with a head full of fears for the future. How would I tell my expectant mother about this? That Edward stood me up, that we would never get married. Surely that would break the fragile relationship that we have started to develop.

And Elisabeth Mason. How would she look at me the next time we spoke? Would she still be so motherly and so kind, or would there only be disappointment and hostility reserved for me?

And most important of all, how would I face Edward? Now that we've met, it would be difficult to avoid him completely. Would we speak, or would we simply ignore each other?

I didn't have answers to any of the questions. Only time could tell me how the situation would progress.

A little luck seemed to stay with me though, because when I got home mother was already retired. The butler greeted me at the door, saying that she was feeling unwell and requested that I would not come and visit. I was more than happy to oblige. After a quick trip to the kitchens to get some bread and milk, I walked back up to my room. I might have been sad and disappointed with Edward, but I was still very hungry. The nervous state that I was in at supper prevented me from eating much, and as a result I was famished.

Daisy was waiting in my room, facing away from me and towards the window. The lights were turned off, and I had trouble seeing anything, but Daisy's slight body seemed to be quivering.

"Daisy?" I called out in the darkness, and I think that she jumped a little, only just being made aware that I was with her. I flipped the light switch, and Daisy turned to look at me, her eyes red-rimmed and full of unshed tears. Her expression was so sad and so hopeless that my heart broke just seeing it.

"Oh, Daisy darling what's wrong?"I reached out to her, trying to somehow make it better for her and she quickly stepped into my embrace, hugging me with so much force that I was thrown backwards. She was so small, and she seemed even smaller now, curled in on herself. It was such a pitiful picture.

"Daisy, what happened? Can you tell me?" I asked gently, rubbing soothing circles into her back and wondering what could bring such a reaction. She was usually the strong one, comforting me.

She nodded her head in response to my question and took a deep, ragged breath in an attempt to calm herself. I put my hand around her shoulders, leading her to sit on my bed. She sat down and I sat next to her, my hand still on her arm. After a few more minutes and half a dozen of attempts to calm her, Daisy stopped sobbing, and cleared her throat to speak. Her voice was hoarse and tears were still streaming down her skinny cheeks, but she spoke steadily.

"Did I ever tell you that my brother was in the army?" her eyes were fixed on me, wide and bright, waiting for an answer.

"Yes." I whispered back, my gaze as intent as hers. She often spoke of her brother, especially after she received letters from him. I knew that she was very proud of his profession as a soldier, and all the lives that he saved. I knew that in his letters he often told Daisy about all his wild adventures, some of them so colourful that I had a hard time believing that they weren't made-up situations. Some things he mentioned...

Daisy continued.

"Well, he was in Kansas recently, stationed at one of the bases there. It wasn't as active a job as before, but he deserved the break, bless him. He already did his fair share of fighting. And, well..." Sobs rose from her chest again, and I tried to calm her, whispering little phrases like 'shh, and 'it's okay' that meant nothing but still served to calm her a little.

"Well, I...I ju-ust got a...a...a... letter from mother, sss-say-ying that James is dead!" Daisy broke down completely then, her head slumping on my shoulder, shaking with the quietly contained sobs.

"Oh, no," I said, unable to think of any other response. That was horrible. Poor Daisy, she was so sweet and caring, why did her brother have to die? My own troubles were long forgotten, because they seemed so small compared to this.

After a deep breath, Daisy continued.

"I was only told this morning, when a letter came through from mother. She was the first to find out, and she sent me a letter just as soon as she knew. He was dead for weeks now! They only called today, and we can't even say goodbyes..." There was some more sobs then, and Daisy wiped her nose on her sleeve before I could hand her a handkerchief. The motion was so childish and innocent that it made the situation even worse. I stroked Daisy's hair in a soothing motion, and it seemed to help a little. She calmed down, but didn't say anything else. Neither did I.

After a while, her breathing evened out and she fell asleep, with me still patting her back gently. I lay her down on the bed carefully, taking her cap off her head and letting her hair loose from the braid. Then I covered her with the bed covers, watching as her face relaxed and the tears dried off her cheeks.

Daisy definitely needed some taking care of, I decided. I should be like this more often, helping her rather than the other way around. And it was different to listen to her problems for a change. It put a perspective on my own troubles, and the situation with Edward certainly paled in comparison to what Daisy was going through.

I went to my door and closed it softly, then turned off the lights and walked over to the sofa, eyes still focused on Daisy.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Daisy was waking me up.

"Isabella, wake up, wake up!"

My eyes opened slowly, and I blinked at the light in the room. My head and back were hurting, probably due to my sleeping position on the sofa. I rubbed my neck as my eyes adjusted to the brightness of a sunny morning, and I stifled a yawn.

"Oh, Bella, you should have waked me! You should have slept in your own bed. Oh, Bella, your neck is hurting now, isn't it?" Daisy bit down on her bottom lip, her expression thankful but regretful.

"No, it's okay, really. My neck is fine." It wasn't even a lie. My neck was the least of my worries right now. Daisy seemed to be in an ecstatic mood, but I knew her well enough to know that there was something underlying that joy.

"Daisy..." I started, carefully. "Um, how are you, really?"

She took a deep breath, and then decided to sit down next to me.

"Well, yes, I'm fine, I suppose," was her careful answer.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I was very cautious, should I make Daisy cry again. She made an unhappy face at me, but spoke anyway.

"Well, James is dead. They will ship his coffin to Chicago soon, so that we can give him a proper funeral." Daisy's voice was a monotone, sounding like she was reciting some boring passage instead of talking about her dead brother. It made the story a little scary, as well as sad. "He was dead for weeks, but the army didn't want to say. He died of influenza, along with a lot of his fellow companions. Telling the world about it would be a weakness shown for the opponents, so it was hushed up. Little James' death was kept a secret! From his own family!" There were tears in Daisy's eyes again, angry tears, and she was shaking slightly. I put my arm around her. "I would have told you yesterday, but you seemed so preoccupied, I didn't want to make you sad, too." She added, almost as an afterthought.

We sat there, for a while longer, and Daisy gave me more details. The influenza was said to be spreading fast, and it caused a lot of deaths among soldiers already. No one was supposed to know, only the closest relatives of the dead, but the word was spreading quickly, and it wouldn't be long before the nation as a whole would start to panic.

Daisy would be going back to her home for a while, to support her mother. James was the only son she had, and she cared for him deeply. Daisy needed to be there to help her mother through, and I knew that I was a good idea, no matter how hard it would be for me.

She was set out to leave later the very same day, some other maid agreeing to do Daisy's duties while she was gone.

So when Daisy helped me out of the dress that I wore to impress Edward and into a morning garment, we said out goodbyes and I gave her some money to help her through. Her family was very poor, and now that her two sisters were coming home as well for the funeral, Daisy needed all the money that she could get. She thanked me, humbly, and put the money away in her apron's pocket. Then she proceeded to put the white and blue dress away, and I could see her eyebrows drawing together when she realised that I didn't say a word about the previous night, but she didn't comment.

Daisy had to leave then, and I left to go downstairs soon after. I was thinking about Edward again. If he joined the army, there would be a good chance that he would suffer from the influenza as well, perhaps even die from it. I didn't want that to happen, even if he disliked me. I did feel some affection for him, and besides, death in the trenches wouldn't serve anyone. Fortunately, the disease seemed to be spreading only among the soldiers, so I presumed that the rest of us were safe. I worried for a while about mother feeling sic, but the thought was quickly dispatched when I saw her in the breakfast parlour, talking animatedly to my bored father.

I dreaded her questions.

But the questions never came. Mother was beaming widely, and as soon as I was close enough she handed me a flower, and orchid to be precise, and a note to go with it.

I opened the note, noticing that the seal was broken, but I ignored it. It wasn't the first time that mother opened my mail.

In the note, a few sentences were written in an elegant script.

_Dear Isabella, _

_I noticed that you didn't make it to the theatre last night. I do hope it wasn't because of any illnesses. In any case, please notice the attached orchid. It's blue; I noticed that the colour fits beautifully with your skin. _

_Always Yours,_

_Edward _

»©»

**Okay, so Edward didn't stand Isabella up after all. So what actually happened? I don't know either, I didn't write the next chapter yet. **

**About the influenza, it did actually first appear in America in Kansas, specifically in Camp Funston. I just thought that I should introduce the Spanish Influenza now, so that it doesn't just appear out of nowhere, later on in the story. **

**Anyways, if you liked the chapter, please follow and review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Twilight doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**Hi guys! Sorry for the slow updates, but you know, summer is here... Last day of school today! And probably the last update until I-don't-know-when. I'm going on holiday, and even if I can get wi-fi, I don't think I can write any chapters on the go. So, have a great summer everyone, and don't do anything too reckless! **

**As usual, thank you to all the people who reviewed, followed, or favourited (the word 'favourited' doesn't actually exist, if you're wandering:P) I'm grateful for the support:))**

**This is a clear-up chapter, so if you were unsure about what happened or anything that Edward or Bella did, it should be explained now. You should also know that I watched Step-Up just before writing this, so I have a ****LOT**** of positive energy in me now, and it's probably reflected in this chapter. Even Isabella's mother seems nice;)**

**So, please enjoy the chapter, and if you like it, pretty, pretty please review. I'd love to know what you guys are thinking. **

**From the last chapter: **In the note, a few sentences were written in an elegant script.

_Dear Isabella, _

_I noticed that you didn't make it to the theatre last night. I do hope it wasn't because of any illnesses. In any case, please notice the attached orchid. It's blue; I noticed that the colour fits beautifully with your skin, _

_Always Yours,_

_Edward _

»©»

What did the note mean? I pondered after I read it for the hundredth time. I was at the theatre last night; he was the one who didn't turn up. I wanted to believe that what he said was genuine in his observations, but how could I? He didn't even buy tickets! And I now knew better than to trust him.

Still, when the situation was explained to mother, she wanted a clarification. However, with all the preparations for the season, there was no time to arrange a meeting or ask for explanations. The day would be spent at the dressmakers, picking out materials and designs. It would undoubtly be very tiring; mother was a very picky customer and not easily satisfied.

I was very distracted at the dressmakers as I sifted through the pages of different colours, fabrics and designs. The assistant was very helpful, pointing out this and suggesting that, but my heart wasn't in it. In the end I settled for a light, muslin dress, a dark shade of green with some lighter, jade highlights on the neckline, sleeves and hem. My original instinct was to go for blue, but when I remembered the dress that Edward never got to see the previous night, I changed my mind. I wasn't overly enthusiastic with the green either; it was too close to the colour of Edward's eyes. Only mother's insistence made me pick it.

Edward. Yet again, I could not get him off my mind. How did he do that? No matter what he did, he left me with no peace of mind, atop of the confusing memories to ponder at, at night.

He was intoxicating. There was no other word for it, I decided as we left the shop, the dress ordered and new shoes carried out by one of the worker. He dropped them into the car and promptly left to get back to the shop. Mother decided to stay in town for longer, visiting a small coffee shop where they organised the Saturday's Charity Meetings. Mother often went, sewing clothes and selling cakes for the poorer people. It was unsurprising that a few of her friends were there as well, either resting after shopping, like us, or just turning up to gossip. I knew that it would be hours before I could leave.

So I tried excusing myself, quietly, before mother could get too preoccupied.

But mother had other plans.

"Nonsense, you can't be tired. We haven't spent more than a few hours in town yet!" There was no arguing with her when she took on that tone, although I noticed that she was slightly warmer towards me than she normally was. I took my chances.

"But Mama, truly..."

"Don't push it, Isabella." Now that was definitely a lost cause. I sat back down, resigned.

To my great surprise, mother was very civil towards me, even smiling a little as she sipped her tea. She also didn't socialise with any of her peers, instead focusing solely on me. I started to wonder if it was a good time to start some bonding. Carefully, I cleared my throat.

"So..." I started carefully. Mother looked at me with nothing but polite interest in her eyes. That gave me some courage, and made my voice more clear. However, I still had to think of something to say. And the first thing that came to my mind, was mother's motives behind sending me to Europe for the summer. I hesitated again.

"Mama, when you arranged for me to go to Spain... I wonder why you did that. Don't you want me to get to know Edward?"

I was a little nervous about her response, because I didn't know how she would react to me questioning her motives. So I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding when mother took hold of my hand and smiled genuinely.

"Silly girl, sometimes you can be so oblivious. Edward is already attached to you; he wouldn't want to see you go. If he knows that he has a time limit, it will just make him act that much faster." She smiled again, waiting for a reply. But I have none to give. I just said "oh". In a strange way, it made sense. Why didn't I think about it before?

"Oh, you silly girl, you have much to learn."

"I have no one to teach me." I replied before I could stop myself. Immediately, I drew in a sharp breath, awaiting mother's reaction. But there was none, except for the slightly piteous look in mother's eyes.

"No, you have me. I would be glad to give you advice, Isabella. But you never ask."

"I never have an opportunity." I said, sadly.

"Oh course you do!" I could tell that mother's composure was slipping a little. "But you never get to the point quick enough! You know very well that I am not a patient woman." Oh, I knew fully and well. How many times did her lack of patience make me cry? Once too many.

We sat for a minute, in silence, as mother sipped her tea and I took apart my cupcake. I was still thinking over our conversation when the doorbell rang its little tune, and the door opened. The chatter of other ladies didn't cease, but a few greeted the newcomer warmly, mother one of them. I turned in my chair to look at the door, and almost fainted when I saw Elisabeth Masen enter.

_So that's why we're here _I thought. This was what mother wanted all along. I quickly turned back to our table, suddenly very shy as Mrs Masen made her way to our table. I was worried that she knew all about me and Edward, more than I knew, and that she was laughing at me behind my back. Consciously, I knew that it was silly, and that Elisabeth was far too nice. But I just couldn't shake that feeling...

"Hello Darlings! How unexpected to see you here! Renée, didn't you say that you weren't coming today? You got me worried, too, when none of you arrived at the theatre last night. I began to wonder if it was an epidemic!" Mrs Masen greeted us in her usual way, speaking in between the hugs and kisses.

I was glad that she didn't seem angry about me and Edward. Although, to be perfectly honest, I had no idea why I expected her to be. After all, even I didn't know what passed between us. I was still shy though, and it was mother who answered Mrs Mason.

"Hello, Elisabeth. A quick change of plans called us to town, but I assure you, we are all healthy."

"I'm glad to hear that." Was her reply. But then, Elisabeth started to look a little confused. "But, darling, why didn't you turn up at the theatre yesterday then?"

I stiffened, waiting for mother to say something, but instead she looked at me expectantly. I gathered the courage to look Mrs Mason in the eyes, and saw the slight confusion there. Probably because of the strange exchange that passed between mother and I.

"Um, actually, Mrs Masen—"

"Oh, please, it's Elisabeth. We knew each other long enough, Isabella."

"Of course, Elisabeth." I said, the name sounding strangely rude on my tongue. It wasn't respectful to call elders by name, but since she asked... I took a deep breath. "With all due respect, Mrs Mason, but it's your family that failed to turn up. I assure you, I was there, waiting for you. But when you didn't turn up... I just... left."

Now there was definitely confusion in Mrs Masen's eyes.

"But Isabella, our seats were right next to yours. Did you turn up early, before we could arrive? I admit, we barely made it on time, with my brothers planning skills. It was his treat, you know. He was the reason we went in the first place." Elisabeth rolled her eyes delicately, then smiled at me, waiting for a response.

I thought furiously as I tried to remember who was to sit next to me on the seats plan. As far as I could remember, I had two places reserved in the corner of the box, and a 'Mr Etherege' had four places reserved right next to me. Nowhere in the small space was there a Mr or Mrs 'Masen'. But Elisabeth's eyes were so sincere. I shook my head at her, then waited for some kind of explanation. But when both, mother and Elisabeth continued to look at me, I flushed and spoke up.

"Mrs Masen, I checked the list, I'm sorry, but your name wasn't on it. What are you suggesting?"

Now, finally, the confusion was cleared from her features. She began to laugh as I looked at her with wonder and some worry.

"Oh, Isabella, so it is all a misunderstanding! You see, the tickets were booked by my brother; his name would appear at the reservations list. We should have probably told you; I'm sorry." She smiled, apologetically, but there was still some thought at her eyes. Probably because of my shocked expression.

Suddenly, my cheeks started to burn with embarrassment. It had been such an overreaction on my part, so foolish of me to make such assumptions. By my own, free will, I have ruined my evening, and lost my trust in Edward. Why did I have to be so stupid?

There was still silence at the table, so I managed a quick "Oh, I'm sorry." Elisabeth nodded her head, smiled gently at me, and seeing that I wouldn't be able to socialise any further she turned to mother. They talked for sometime while I sat there, not paying any attention to their conversation. The long forgotten muffin was getting tortured mercilessly between my fingers while I pondered over the new information.

So Edward was the person I though him to be after all. It was my overreaction that resulted in my sadness.

"...would that be okay with you, Isabella?" I was ripped out of my thoughts when mother said my name. I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to speak. She rolled her eyes and spoke again. "I was asking if you had plans for tomorrow. Mrs Masen just invited her to a barbeque. Would you care to come?"

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, as I thought of seeing Edward again after what I accused him off. Of course, he didn't know about that, but it still seemed like some kind of betrayal on my part. But I missed him—I wanted to see him again. So I said that it would be lovely, thanking Mrs Masen for the invitation. Already I was thinking about what to wear to look the prettiest. Maybe one of the new dresses, if they would be made on time. I hoped mother would allow it.

Soon after, we departed from the coffee shop, once again friends with Elisabeth and her family. I smiled and waved as I exited, and mother looked at me with disapproval.

"Control yourself, girl." She said, back to her normal self. I smiled at that, too. I knew that mother being nice couldn't last too long. Maybe she just felt pity for me before. Either way, it was over now.

As soon as we got home, I run up to my room, intent on writing a letter to Edward. But I stopped at the door, when I noticed my chamber was unusually tidy. Daisy knew I didn't like it looking so clean, when it wasn't at all homely. But Daisy wasn't here now, she was with her family, and it must have been some other maid that cleaned it for me. Thinking about it, I decided to write Daisy a letter as well. A letter expressing my sympathy, not telling her about my own happiness. That could be too much for poor Daisy.

I wrote that letter first. Although the contents were very serious, I couldn't stop myself from adding that some good news were waiting for her, once she got back. That letter was fairly easy to write. I was on good terms with Daisy, and felt relaxed when writing to her.

A letter for Edward, on the other hand, was very hard to write. After all, what could I say?

In the end, I settled for this:

_May 27__th__, 1918_

_Dear Edward, _

_Thank you for the letter and flower sent this morning. It was very kind and I appreciate the thought. _

_You will be glad to know that I am not down with any illnesses. Yesterday, a simple misunderstanding occurred... but nothing that you should concern yourself with. It is all well now. _

_Your mother was kind enough to invite us for a barbecue tomorrow. I look forward to seeing you then. _

_Yours sincerely _

_Bella _

The letter was simple and very unemotional, but it took me a long time to find the right words to put down. After all, I wasn't even sure if I should have expressed feelings. Would that be too forward? Probably.

I quickly sealed the letters and took them downstairs, to give them to the housekeeper. I was eager to find her as soon as I could, before I could change my mind about sending.

Then, seeing that I had some free time left, I went out to the garden to read.

The rest of the day passed slowly. Father and Mother were both paying social calls, and I was left in the house at my own devices. I spent a while with one of the servants' little daughters, playing with dolls that I used to play with when I was little. All the while, I was thinking about Edward and me; how sometime in the future, maybe we could get married like the porcelain dolls did in the doll house. Maybe we could have a little girl like the one sitting beside me, playing with those dolls, or a little boy who would throw them and diss them. It would all be so perfectly sweet.

However, soon enough little Madeline had to go to bed, and I was left alone again. Dejectedly, I walked into the eerily empty library, settling on a cushioned chair and pulling out a book of poems. It was getting dark, but it seemed a waste to turn on the electric light, so instead I lit a candle. There were deep shadows everywhere I looked, but Father's dog, Brutus, settled by my side, head on paws, looking out into the darkness. Looking out for me.

So when Brutus rose from his place by my side and eyes back and eyes intent on something I couldn't spot, I was altered to another presence in the room. Quickly, I grabbed Brutus' collar and held him in place as he turned to leave. In the silence I heard two voices and immediately relaxed. One of them was our butler, the other one was father. I felt bad for eavesdropping, but what could I do? I sat still and listened.

"...lads saying it's over soon. No new recruits will be necessary, if this keeps up. It may very well be that soon, we will be a free nation once more." I couldn't quite understand what the men were talking about, but I picked out the words 'recruit' and 'free nation'. Perhaps it was another talk about the war? I listened to hear more. The butler spoke now.

"That's good. There was too little male presence here at the house, lately. Too many lads left and didn't come back. But what of the situation in Kansas? Any more news?" Oh yes, they were talking about the war coming to an end. That was wonderful; maybe it could end before Edward had to fight. But Kansas—that's where James died. I listened again, because it seemed that father had some information. He didn't have anything to do with the army, but many of his friends did. The connections were very useful.

"Fortunately, only around sixty soldiers died. That was a relief. With over 1000 soldiers infected, it's a miracle that so many survived. And there were no new outbreaks, as far as we know now. It seems that the good stars are shining. But a shame for the boys. Many of them were only in training, never seen the world. Now they never will." Silence fell, and I thought that father was mourning the lost lives. James was one of those boys. Never seen the world, and now he never would. None of them would.

No more was said, and I heard the butler retreat while father's footsteps seemed to get louder and louder. I quickly let go of Brutus and jumped from my seat, blowing out the candle. It wouldn't do me any good if father knew that I have been listening in. I run out of the library, and thankfully the dog didn't follow. With a smile on my face, I run to my room.

_Edward wouldn't join the army! _I rejoiced. And soon, we could have our happy life, away from any war troubles. Even the flu was gone now.

When I entered my bedroom, I saw a familiar face, smiling broadly. It was Anna, come to replace Daisy! It seemed that the week away from my maid wouldn't be that bad after all...

»©»

**So what did you think? Did you like it? I hope you did. **

**Now for some historical content. You can skip this if history of Spanish Influenza doesn't interest you. But I did some research, and I want to share:))**

**Did you know that the first recorded case of Spanish influenza was actually in Kansas? It's only called 'spanish flu' because during WW1 Spain was a neutral country, so they openly said that there was an epidemic. America, France, England... they had cases of the illness too, except they were in war, and they didn't want to show weakness. So they didn't spread the news, at first. **

**Also, the first wave of the epidemic was weak, and hardly killed anybody. It was the second wave, the one that came in September that killed so many people. There was another wave after that, but the war ended by then and no one was interested as much anymore, so there's very little statistics. But the way the third wave spread is actually kind of ironic. It appeared in November, right after the war ended. Everyone was going out into the streets, hugging and kissing from happiness of a new beginning and all that, and then they started to spread it that way, again... piteous, isn't it? Fortunately, the third wave wasn't as strong as the second one. **

**But overall, 1/3 of the world population suffered from the flu, and around 5% died from it. It was worse than the Black Death, and 1/3 of the world's population ****died**** of that one. Can you imagine how bad that would be?**

**Anyways, you guys have a nice summer, and see you in September! Until then, please search out jlove34's profile**

**Her stories are well written, and I think the plots are very good as well... so go and look at it now. But please leave a review first. Thank you:))**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi, I'm back! Early, too! I was going to post this tomorrow, but if your life is anything like mine, then you really won't have time to read it tomorrow. **

**So, how was your summer? I had a good time, with the exception of the time I had to spend on homework. And let me tell you, that was a lot of time. But eh, that's life. **

**Okay, so here's some pure Edward and Bella time at last! Without obnoxious mothers, eagled eyed governesses or teasing friends. Enjoy and leave a review!**

**From the last chapter: **_Edward wouldn't join the army!_ I rejoiced. And soon, we could have our happy life, away from any war troubles. Even the flu was gone now.

When I entered my bedroom, I saw a familiar face, smiling broadly. It was Anna, come to replace Daisy! It seemed that the week away from my maid wouldn't be that bad after all...

»©»

It was the afternoon of the barbecue party, and Anna had me spinning in front of my mirror while she admired my new gown. The purpose of the exercise was for me to see the dress as well, but I mostly focused on the ground, ensuring that I didn't trip and fall. I missed Daisy already; she knew of my balance problems and would never subject me to this. But with Anna's enthusiastic nature it couldn't be helped.

In any case, it wasn't like I didn't know what the dress looked like. I knew; I picked it out myself. It was a crème-rosy colour, made of lightest silk, layered together to offer some protection from the chilly evening. The dress itself was only knee length, but matched with a long, similarly coloured slip underneath and it looked like it reached all the way down to the tops of my boots. The design really was quite clever. Put together with the curls that Anna styled with the hot iron and the glow of anticipation in my eyes and my cheeks, I looked positively beautiful. Not that it made me any less conscious. After all, I had a long history of not being good enough, or simply being overlooked. How could I expect that to change overnight? Edward—if he ever wanted to see me in the first place—would probably find someone prettier and merrier than me. Oh, but then again, I hardly felt myself tonight, so I couldn't account for my own actions. Would that make me more appealing?

All that thinking made me lose my focus and the ground was quick to take advantage, purposefully sticking the edge of the carpet in the way of my foot and effectively making me stumble.

"Anna, please." I complained. I was starting to feel dizzy now, adding yet another hazard to the already dangerous activity.

"Alright, alright." Anna giggled as she gripped my hands into hers to stop me mid-spin and held on tightly as the room slowly steadied around me. Once I was more or less stable on my feet again, she let go, but not before giving me one more spin.

"An-na" I drew the word out and it came out like a whine. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, surprised at myself. I _never _whined. Even as a small child I knew better than to do that. This was not a good time to start.

But Anna seemed to find it perfectly acceptable, only giggling a little. "Oh, Miss, this will be so much fun! You'll have to tell me all about it afterwards!" Now, that was a bit forward, even if it was Anna. I didn't mind that much, but those lines were not to be crossed by a servant. Even Daisy knew that. Anna must've come to the same conclusion, because next thing I knew, she was apologising. "Oh, miss, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that..."

"Oh, don't you worry. And yes, I will tell you all about it!"

»©»

The courtyard was busy when father, mother and I finally arrived at the Masens' property. The whole place was filled with people walking, laughing, eating. I was more nervous than ever and the butterflies were brusquely fluttering in my stomach. What now? What if Edward didn't want to see me? That would hardly be surprising. I spent the whole afternoon with that attitude and frankly, it was starting to wear off bit by bit. The self-conscious part of me was slowly, but surely, losing its battle with my hidden, inner confidence. Just a few more hours of this and I wouldn't care even if I had to declare my undying love for Edward right there and then.

Unfortunately for me though, I didn't have even the few hours to build up that confidence. We were here, and I had to face Edward now.

As we took a turn about, mother spotted Mr and Mrs Mason standing on front porch, greeting everyone and as we made our way over, Edward suddenly appeared by their side. He was holding two glasses of what looked like punch. At first my heart sank, thinking that the punch was for some other girl that Edward was spending time with, but that disappointment quickly turned to excitement as he smiled and walked over, offering me the glass.

He looked so handsome. Of course, I have seen him dressed smartly before. Our social class would hardly allow us to wear anything but. But tonight, it was different. In the light of the dusk, his pale complexion seemed to glow, a few rays of sun bouncing off of his face, shining and casting shadows just in all the right places, all working to his advantage. He was dressed in a suit, formal, but a little messy. The top button, the one under his stiff collar, was undone, making the white bow-tie a little screwed to the side. Whether it was intentional or purely accidental I didn't know, but it certainly added to his charm.

"Miss Swan," He greeted, offering me the punch instead of kissing my hand, smiling his lop-sided smile. I didn't mind that much. He was here, and he was talking to me. What more could a girl want?

"Care to take a walk with me?" he asked conscientiously, looking up from under his lashes in a way that almost stopped my heart.

"Are-aren't we walking right now?" I stuttered, struggling to think coherently.

He smirked at me. "Not here. Come with me." He offered me his arm and I took it quickly, letting him lead me away from the party. On his way he placed his glass on one of the tables and motioned for me to do the same. I did as he asked, then followed him through to a small gate hidden so well that I hardly spotted it. On the other side of it was a rose garden, or a rose labyrinth, rather, looking rich and beautiful with deep green stems and leaves and deep red rose buds.

"Oh," I sighed, and my steps haltered. It was truly breathtaking, but also hugely inappropriate. An unmarried man and a woman, walking without a chaperone through a maze of romantic roses. Why did Edward bring me here? What were his intentions?

"Don't worry." He said cheerily, smiling innocently at me, probably guessing my thoughts. "I just want to show you something."

And so I followed him as he walked, turning first this way and then that way, and I quickly become disoriented. But Edward knew where he was going, and I trusted him. At first, that is. But as we walked on and on through the never ending maze, I became slightly worried.

"Edward?" I asked at last. He merely looked back at me and smirked good-heartedly, not slowing down and not offering any explanations. Very quickly my corset was becoming a burden, making my back ache. The new fashion might have been a little more liberating, but it was by no means easier on my poor back. "Edward, will we be walking for long?"

He looked at me, where I walked behind him, hunched forwards with my hands resting on my stomach to ease my breathing. His expression turned remorseful at once and he walked to my side, slipping an arm around my waist and supporting some of my weight. I leaned into him and we walked again, as Edward said "Not far now."

Truth be told, we really haven't been walking for that long, maybe a few minutes. The corset was tight, but it wasn't unbearable. It was just that I haven't been walking a lot lately, and combined with my tight clothing and the unusually warm weather, it was making me a little tired. But Edward's hand felt nice around my waist and I didn't want to tell him that the spell of fatigue has passed and that I was capable of walking by myself again. If he was alright with it, who was I to complain.

Only a few minutes later we finally made it to the middle of the maze. There stood a meadow, a beautifully symmetrical meadow with high grass and flowers growing everywhere. It was surrounded by not the bushes that lined the walls of the maze's corridors; it was rather apple trees surrounding it, with the fruit just maturing into beautiful, rich shades of red. The smell was overpowering too, taking us away from the party, away from the town of Chicago. I loved it.

"Edward, it's beautiful." I said to him, turning around. He let go of my waist upon entering the maze, letting me explore by myself. Now he smiled that crooked smile, is eyes not leaving mine and in turn bewitching me to look into his. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, now much stronger than before. What would happen now?

To my relief, or maybe disappointment, Edward looked away from me then, around the meadow, his eyes taking in the sight. He must have been here before but looking at his face, it was as if he was re-discovering it.

"I used to come here a lot as a child, whenever I wanted to escape the reality. I never told anyone about this; it felt like my sacred little place." What was he suggesting? Did he mean to say that I was just an intruder? That couldn't be, he invited me here himself! So his next words calmed me slightly, when he spoke with a smile. "Of course, everyone else knew about this too. Once, when my mother was terribly ill, I run here. The doctors said she wouldn't make it. I fell asleep up in this tree, and in the morning, I was back in my bed with my father watching over me. I was so surprised, so angry that he found my secret place. I asked him how he knew where to look, and he told me that this was the place where he proposed to my mother. He knew that I would be here because the good memories that my mother and he left behind would always be here to protect me. And as a child, I believed it.

"Since then, whenever I came here, I always wondered, what girl I could bring here to share this with me, to find the joy that this place brings. After years of waiting, I almost gave up on that idea. And yet, here you are." He gazed at me in a way that made my heart melt and my legs turn weak with warmth and gratitude at his words. And yet, at the same time, I could feel the blush spreading across my cheeks in embarrassment. We only knew each other for a few days but already he was so forward.

_As was I, _I suddenly realised. If we weren't both thoroughly ignoring the rules of proper courtship, I certainly wouldn't be standing here. And still, as it was, I couldn't find it in me to regret coming.

"Wait a second," Edward said, then strode quickly to one of the trees. It wasn't like I could go anywhere in this maze, so I stood there awkwardly, watching the place where he disappeared. Only moments later he emerged, holding a blanket and a picnic basket. He walked to me and spread the blanket, gesturing for me to sit down and following his own advice. I didn't immediately comply, instead considering.

"What do I tell my parents?" I asked when he looked at me questioningly.

He smiled that broad smile. "Isabella, you worry too much. I told Janet to take care of it. As far as your mother is concerned, she is with us right now." Oh, he was wicked, but it didn't make me enjoy his company any less. In fact, it seemed to draw me in, closer to him.

"And why did Janet agree to hide out during the party just to give us time alone?"

"I'm sure she appreciates the quality alone time with Fred just as much as I do."

Oh, that made sense. In fact, it fit in perfectly with Janet's personality. She and Edward must have been close, for him to know her enough to strike a deal like that.

"You two must be close." I stated, but I was dreading the answer. What if there were some unsaid feelings between them? there was the matter of Janet and Fred, but what if that was just friendship? What would I do then?

Edward laughed whole heartedly, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. I prepared myself for the rejection...

"Indeed we are." My heart sank. "Janet and I are cousins. My mother and her mother are sisters. We never got along well, but with those little agreements of ours..."

Oh. They were cousins. Silly me.

A smile broke out on my face, and Edward gazed at me with wonder in his eyes.

"You have a beautiful smile, Bella. You should smile more often." Of course, that added a blush to the smile.

»©»

For a long time Edward and I sat on the grass, eating the food he provided, and talking. Or sometimes we just sat in silence as the sun travelled down, eventually hiding behind the trees, only a few rays still breaking through the thinner branches. I tiled my face in the light's direction, warming my face. I was so content.

Suddenly, a hand touched my face. My eyes flashed open, staring right into Edward's face. He was only inches away, his whole frame frozen as he waited for me to do something. What to do? I tried to think of something, but his breath continuously brushed over my face. I had trouble thinking.

After some time passed like this, Edward relaxed, his hand dropping my face. I immediately missed it's warmth. He sighed.

"Sorry. Your face looks beautiful in the sunlight, Bella."

I tried to think of a way to make him touch my face again. It felt so good. "It's okay, Edward." I said at last, my face red. Really, to what lengths I would go to break the strict rules! And my efforts were wasted anyway. Edward smiled, but made no move to stroke my cheek again. He subtly moved a little further away, with the pretence of grabbing a strand of grass.

We sat there for a while longer. It scenery was still beautiful but it no longer held the splendour it previously had. That left, along with Edward's touch. The spell was broken. And I was just a dreaming, naive little girl. Dreaming about something that could never be mine.

"Bella?" Edward asked me, and for the first time I realised that there was moisture in my eyes. I quickly swiped my hand over my face, ridding myself of the traitorous tears. Edward didn't need to see this. It wasn't his fault; it was all mine. I was the one who was never good enough.

"Bella, what's wrong!" Edward took hold of my chin and tiled my face in his direction. I could see nothing but loving concern imbedded in his eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. I think we should be getting back now." I stood up and Edward did so as well, swiftly. He folded the blanket and stuffed it into the basket. Then he quickly walked back into the trees and set it down. In the mean time, I walked back to the maze entry, taking deep breaths to calm myself. Edward joined me only seconds later.

"Ready?" he asked, taking my hand. The tears suddenly fell again and I was unable to stop them. I quickly drew my hand away from his.

_It means nothing to him! _I thought.

"Bella, tell me what's wrong!" he took my face in his hands once more and I couldn't stop myself from leaning into his touch. It felt tingly, but so good. I never wanted him to let go. His thumbs swiped the tears off of my face. "Tell me, Bella. You were fine before. What happened?"

"I'm not good enough." I mumbled to him.

"Don't say that, Bella. You know it's not true." His eyebrows drew together and I could see no lies in his eyes. But he _had _to know.

"But it is. I never say anything or do anything right. I repel everyone. I repel _you!"_

His expression was confused but there was fire in his eyes. "Bella, don't say that. You don't repel me. In fact, ever since I met you, all I seem to be able to do is closer. How can you not see that?" I shook my head. "Bella..." he was searching for words now, so whatever he was saying must have been hard to get out. "That day I met you... I knew beforehand why we were meeting. It wasn't the first time my mother tried to... to persuade me to marry someone.

"I wasn't hopeful. My intension was to have polite talk, then leave and never call back. But then... when you walked into that room, I couldn't even think. You were so beautiful..." Another stroke to my cheek, a look of wonder in Edward's eyes. "And then, when we spoke. You were so different from anyone I knew. You weren't vain, or spoiled, or rude. You were so gentle and careful and vulnerable. I couldn't understand why. With your beauty and rank, you must have had many suitors beforehand. But I knew that I liked you, more so than any other girl I have met before. Since then, that feeling of... of affection had only increased. I can't seem to stop thinking about you."

Still, I was unconvinced. Too many years of insecurities to change my attitudes now. Edward was just speaking from the heat of the moment. It would surely pass very soon.

"Bella" these words were even more carefully selected than the previous ones. "Although I have known you from a very brief time, I have undeniably grown very attached. I don't mean to scare you away... but only the lack of blessing from you father is stopping me from proposing to you right this very moment."

My breathing hitched and my eyes roamed over his face. Was he serious? Were his feelings for me really similar to those I had for him? Oh, how I hoped so.

Then, very slowly and very deliberately Edward leaned down to me, his eyes fixed on my lips. My heart first stopped and then started racing, almost breaking out of my chest. This was so improper, so why did it feel so right? No, it couldn't feel right. I didn't want him to kiss me.

Oh, but I did! I longed to feel his lips on mine. As my mind argued both ways, another part of me made my eyes close as he brought his face closer to mine, still. Anticipation was dominating me as I waited for it, waited for the miracle that was Edward Mason, only to feel his lips against my forehead instead. I opened my eyes to look at him, shocked, but he still had his lips pressed to my forehead and so I couldn't read his face

"I won't take advantage of you, Bella." Gah, the gentleman. He sighed against my hair, as though it pained him. Perhaps it did. I could almost hear him adding the 'Oh, but I want to kiss you.' But he didn't.

I certainly desired that kiss. So much that I considered bringing his lips to mine instead of waiting for him to initiate it. I was just about to act on it when I realised that my arms were too heavy to move, strong fright of rejection keeping me locked in place. We both stood there for a few moments, before he drew away and took hold of my hand again.

"Come on, we should be getting back. There is only so much we can get away with." He was unbelievable.

»©»

We walked back together. The maze was dark now but Edward knew where he was going. I trusted him not to bump us into a wall. We met Janet and Fred by the gate to the maze and by that time I was considerately calmer. Janet winked at me as she said her greetings, and a huge smile spread across Fred's lips as they both looked from Edward to me. Oh, I didn't like this. I could only hope that the rest of the party wouldn't come to the same conclusion as my peers did.

When we got back to the civilisation, I said my goodbyes to everyone. It would be the last time I saw Fred before he left. Janet had an appointment with me in a few days and as for Edward... I could only hope that I would see him again soon. Season was to start in a week, but I was really hoping for a visit sooner than that.

When I found mother, she was saying her goodbyes to Mrs Mason. The party was breaking up now, and everyone wanted to talk to the hosts. I only smiled at Mr and Mrs Mason and then we were leaving.

Once in the car and on our way back, mother turned to look at me.

"Isabella, I don't believe I saw you once today. Did you have a good time?"

"Yes mother, it was very nice." Was my very elusive and secretive answer. I looked at the window, then smiled at my flushed and satisfied reflexion. Hopefully, it was only one of the first of the good days.

»©»

**A/N: Hm, so Edward's feelings are just as strong as Bella's. Did anyone have doubts about that? For a while, I did, since Bella's attachment was really on the boarder of obsession. But all's well, Edward feels it too:D **

**I'll be turning 16 in 5 days! That's right, Friday the 13****th****. Is that just my luck, or what? We'll see how it goes;) **

**And with the updates... I have chapters prewritten, and while I'm posting those, the updates will be consistent. But once I have to write new ones... **

**I got my GCSE results a few weeks back, and although I got reasonably good grades, I made some really stupid mistakes that severely lowered my overall results. So I'll be fixing that, and since most of the things I need to re-do are pages-long essays, it will take up a lot of time and energy. Not to mention the amount of studying I'll have to do for the new, upcoming exams. So I'll try to update often, but I really can't tell how far that will take us. The chapters I have will take us up till Halloween, so I'll see from there. **

**But for now, see you in two weeks time, and take care till then. And please leave a review! **

**AmeliaJasmine**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, this note is important please read.**

**First, aargh, this chapter took a long, long time. I wrote it ages ago, but it just wasn't adequate. The words kept repeating themselves, and it was all rushed and unclear. So I re-wrote it, and then re-wrote it again. It just didn't want to come right. So here it is, very late, but sounding better. Not perfect, since the first few paragraphs still seem very rushed... but maybe I'm just oversensitive. You be the judge of that. **

**Secondly, when I searched up the season, it turned out that such events were only held in England, so I'll explain what it's about. Basically, the season does not refer to the periods like spring, summer, fall and winter, it refers to a an event, where the British elite came to London once a year and held elaborate parties, social meetings, charity meeting, ect. Okay, enough from me, here's the chapter. **

**From the last chapter: **_Once in the car and on our way back, mother turned to look at me. _

"_Isabella, I don't believe I saw you once today. Did you have a good time?"_

"_Yes mother, it was very nice." Was my very elusive and secretive answer. I looked at the window, then smiled at my flushed and satisfied reflection. Hopefully, it was only one of the first of the good days.  
_

The next few days passed very quickly, but at the same time not fast enough for my liking. I was barely there most of the time as my dresses were fitted, social meetings were organised and final details for the season were discussed. My head was full of Edward.

There was hardly a time when I was by myself, especially now that Daisy returned. Anna was not yet discharged and so I had to servants to my disposal. But it was good. The more help in that busy time, the better.

Every since her return, Daisy wasn't her productive self. I suspected that she still missed her brother so very much and it was stopping her from enjoying life. She was no longer interested in what new pretty dresses were made for me, or how I was doing with Edward. I missed her, but didn't try to break her out of her shell. Whenever I was lucid enough to think clearly, I tried to imagine what she must be feeling like, to lose someone she held so dear. It was unimaginable. I sympathized but I also hoped fiercely that I would never have to suffer like that.

But through all of this my head was never free of Edward. He occupied my every though, his promise of marriage embroidered deeply into my soul. We haven't seen each other since his party and I was in despair; the week of separation was almost too much.

Not that we completely lost touch. Although there were no meeting face to face, we sent letters to each other, sometimes several times a day. I felt bad for whatever poor stable boy had to carry the letters back and forth but the joy and gratitude to Edward was enough to wash away any trace of guilt. With all the love I felt for him—it definitely was love, I was sure now—I simply didn't have space in my heart to feel much else.

A few times we planned to secretly meet each other. Well, by secretly we meant without the knowledge of our families, a simple meeting in town. But the streets were so crowded now as more people arrived, we didn't even manage to meet. Rationally, I knew that it was just too crowded to find each other. But a little voice kept nagging me at the back of my head, telling me that Edward simply never bothered to come.

There was still so much room for doubt! After seventeen years of rejection from everyone around me, it was hard to believe that I was at all appealing. I kept thinking that maybe Edward was just pleasing his mother. That maybe, now the war was coming to an end he realised that he wouldn't become a soldier and simply settled for the first girl to come his way. That maybe, he was just playing with me. There was so much doubt, and it wasn't even like I didn't have plenty of evidence to deny it.

With each letter that he sent a gift came, sometimes as simple as a pretty flower, but sometimes with a much deeper meaning. Now, along one of my most treasured possessions was a necklace that Edward presented me with, a locket. The words 'Je t'aime' were inscribed on the heart shaped shell, a little portrait of Edward inside. Painted, not photographed because the colours were rich and so realistic it made me long to see him even more. The fact that the painting wasn't of Edward but rather, his grandfather didn't matter in the slightest. Edward was such a true likeness of his grandfather, only the hair colour was different. He explained that it was the locket was a family heirloom, which his grandfather gave to his wife right after they got married.

Oh, but the deeper meaning. It was a gift from a man to his wife. Just like Edward and I would soon be. I felt overwhelming joy that threatened to burst out of my chest every time I thought of that.

As the day of the first party approached, I became equal parts of excited and scared. Excited, because this was the event that a girl waited for all her life. I was no different and the prospect of seeing Edward made it even more appealing. Scared because… well, because I was me. How long would be before I tripped on my face, embarrassed myself and became the laughing stock of the town? Would all those nice, grand people still be as kind when they saw that side of me? No way of telling, and that was extremely unnerving.

The day of the first party, I was extremely nervous. In the last few days, I have met several of the out-of-town elite. They all seemed very nice, but would they still be so without the supervision of mother? Especially when I started tripping over my own feet and stuttering every few words? I wasn't sure if I wanted to have an answer to that.

The one thing that made me happy to go was Edward. He would be there as well, watching as I would be introduced for the first time. Then there was a promise of spending the night dancing away.

I knew that I could devour all my attention to Edward. No one would object if I knew my mother at all. With the promise of marriage in the air, no one could be more excited than her. She walked around the house, happy and humming to herself, a bright smile on her face every time her eyes fell on my face. I was happy to see her happy. Maybe mother and I weren't getting along too well, but things were starting to look a little brighter now. Which was good, for me.

As the day turned into evening, the season soon to begin, I was getting more and more nervous. Everything was ready; all my attires are planned out to every last detail, the first and most beautiful gown to wear already laid out on my bed. I had both, Anna and Daisy to help me select the dress and all the accessories to come with it. Even in her state Daisy had been the one doing most of the work, while I unsuccessfully attempted to help control Anna as her excitement levels rose out the roof.

When it was finally late enough for me to leave for the party I clung to Daisy as tightly as I could, seeking the comfort of a friend. Lately, we haven't been so close but I still loved her more than anyone else living in my house.

At first, she only patted my back awkwardly but after a while she hugged me back fiercely, taking just as much comfort as she gave. We stood there, neither of us speaking and I felt her relax. My Daisy was back.

That calmed me down slightly and as I was called downstairs I felt good, almost confident with myself.

Before leaving mother quickly checked over me, pinching my cheeks to add some flushed colour. Unbelievably, I was actually looking pale that day. What a shame. Even more strangely though, there was very little nervousness in me. Sure the stage fright was there but it was hugely overpowered by my love and longing for Edward.

The car ride was very short. The greeting party took place in the city hall, not too many streets away from my home. Upon out arrival I was the first one to leave the car, thankfully exiting gracefully and without tripping over. I even smiled at the valet, a little nervous smile, followed by an unexplained giggle. He left quite quickly after that, not that I minded. Not in the least.

I waited for mother and father to emerge before heading for the party, taking my place behind them as we entered the building. It was so beautiful, decorated with flowers and lights on the outside, some more elaborate decorations inside. The electric lights in the hall very strong, so strong that it almost looked like sunlight. It was a nice change from the candles or the dim lights in our house.

Before I had time to properly admire the beautiful chandeliers and paintings, I was led away from my parents and towards my peers. Where some of them greeting me excitedly while others just nodded their heads nervously, in turn making me feel a little anxious. We were all standing on the first floor landing, looking down below at the gathered party as they looked back at us. Soon enough we would be descending the stairs, all of us introduced.

I looked for Edward, but didn't immediately spot him. I searched the room with my eyes, eventually focusing my sight on the arched door, waiting in anticipation for him to come in.

And sure enough he did, not long after, his mother walking beside his while his father trailed behind. He took my breath away, just with his looks. He was dressed very smartly, his hair carefully arranged to stay in order. It was a new thing, his tamed her, and I felt myself frowning at it. It didn't look natural. He looked better with his hair settling naturally. But the frown quickly disappeared off of my face, as soon as he started looking around for me. Elisabeth helped him out, saying something that made him turn and look at me. As our eyes met, a smile formed on his perfect lips. He looked at me with some unnamed emotion in his eyes, taking in everything about my body. His eyes eventually returned to my face and then he smiled even wider, causing the butterflies in my stomach to flutter their wings rapidly. I smiled back nonetheless.

Our little intimate moment was interrupted when someone came up to talk to Edward. It was a girl, probably not much older that I, prettily dresses and eager for his attention. Edward greeted her warmly, kissing her hand lightly as she curtsied to him. This didn't discourage me any; he still kept looking up at me, quite often. Unlike him, I talked to no one so that I could watch him at all times. It was such a sinful thing to do; what I felt was lust for him, as well as jealousy over those who got to interact with him when I didn't. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to care. Love truly was a strange thing.

A little party of three joined Edward and the girl, two men and one woman. He talked to them all, and I could clearly tell that he enjoyed conversing like that. Still, he spared me his glances and smiled, each one of them mirrored by mine.

Finally, it was time for me and the other girls to make our appearance. We all stood up on attention, waiting for the moment that our names would be called out. The nerves that I thought would be taken away with Edward's presence came back in full force, almost incapacitating me. I felt a little dizzy with the lack of breath. I lost sight of Edward.

This was it. This was the moment that I waited for, that mother had waited for all my life. Whatever happened now, it would shape my public image, perhaps forever. How was I supposed to do it?

_Keep your head high, your back straight, a polite smile on your face as you look down on them all._ My old governesses voice sounded in my head. She told me that once, when I was little, she found me crying then, stressing out over the season, even then. What she said at the time helped then, and it helped now.

Still, it was from a far distance that I heard my name called out, at a long last.

I stood up, still not in full control of my movements and walked the short distance towards the staircase. My breathing was getting shallower as I took the banister in my hand and descended to the ground floor. Almost unconsciously my eyes searched for Edward, but it was harder now, that i wasn't so high up anymore. Finally though, finally I found him. That cleared my head, and I briefly forgot where I was. For a second I stopped on the step, just looking at him. I frowned when his smile turned to a worried expression. When people started to murmur quietly, I finally remembered myself. My cheeks heated with blood and I looked down on my feet as I walked down the rest of the steps.

Silence met my arrival and I was glad when the next girl was called up. The silence was overbearing, and it felt like everyone was speculating about me. Did they notice how my eyes were glued to Edward? I hoped not. Such a disgrace, and on my first night, too! What would mother say?

I waited, clapping as each girl came down, all of them much more normal than me. Mostly though, I kept my Eyes down. I could bet that Edward wouldn't want me now. I just wanted to leave. I looked around for my mother, but couldn't see her anywhere. I didn't, however, catch Edward's eye. I quickly cast my eyes away, embarrassed, and mover so that I wasn't in the direct line of his sight. This, coincidently, let me see mother and father, standing together with a few other people and clapping politely. I made my way over to them.

"Oh, Bella, excellent." Mother said as I stood before her, waiting to be told off. "Quite a performance you made there. How did it feel?"

Oh, if only she wouldn't use that tone!" that made me feel even more unworthy. Especially in front of mother's friends, whose gazes I could feel on my downcast face.

"Mother, I think I'd like to leave." I said quietly.

"Nonsense, child." I felt her hand on my cheek, an unexpected gesture. I looked up. "Do you not feel well? It would be such a shame to leave after such a grand entry."

"Mother," I said it even more quietly, careful so that her friends would not hear. "I made enough of a fool of myself as it is. This really can't get any better. Please let me leave."

"Isabella, you did just fine. The way you stopped and looked around… well, it was everything that I didn't know I wanted you to do. It added that… that mystery to you. And the way you looked at your boy!" Her voice quieted and she leaned closer to my extremely shocked face. "Already there have been questions about your engagement. It couldn't have gone any better." She patted my cheek as she leaned back, and smiled again. "Now, run along, find that Edward of yours."

That's when I realized that the ceremony was over and chatter filled the room around us. I looked over to mother's friends and they all smiled at me, nothing but curiosity in their eyes. No disgust, no judgment. It lifted a rock off of my heart. I curtsied quickly and departed quickly, walking in random circles. I made half a dozen of turns before Edward caught up with me, his hand sliding over my arm to stop me. He took hold of my hand and kissed me. I searched his face, to see if he thought the same as mother, that my behavior was acceptable. Thankfully, it seemed like he did.

I bushed, and looking around us I could see that we attracted quite an audience.

"Ignore them." Edward murmured, only for me to hear. "Miss Swan, would you care to dance?"

I nodded, eager to get away from the prying eyes. But I stopped as Edward actually led me towards the dance floor.

"Edward, I can't really dance. I just needed to get away."

"Really, Bella, you're wounding my ego. I didn't ask you to dance just to get away. Come, dance with me."

"Edward, I'm too uncoordinated. I'll fall."

And he led me to the dance floor without taking any notice of my protests. We made it just as the first dance started. I looked at the other couples, some of them recognizable by me while other faces were new. He took me around the waist and stepped easily to the music, not dancing to any particular dance. This was one of the liberties of the new era, something that my parents would not have experienced in their youth. Edward

"I missed you, Bella." Edward said to me, bringing his face closer to mine, his breath caressing my cheek, still moving with the music. I trusted that he wouldn't let me fall.

"Me too," I answered in daze. I really meant it, though. I did miss him.

"So, what did you do over the last few days?" he asked, although he would have known perfectly well from the letters that we exchanged.

"I mostly missed you." I said, repeating myself, stupidly. My cheeks reddened and my palms, enveloped by Edwards', started sweating a little. I worried that it would disgust him.

He just laughed.

"And apart from that? Surely there must have been something that you've done, something that you didn't have a chance to mention in your letters."

I racked my brains for some information that I could give him, all the while moving my feet effortlessly as Edward led me in the rhythm of the music.

"Well, I sort of made up with my maid, Daisy." I said a last, feeling proud for that.

"Made up with your maid?" Edward quirked an eyebrow at me, questioning.

"Yes, that's right. She was… closed off from me, for a while. She's back now."

I looked at Edward, and he had that expression in his eyes again, something that I've seen before but haven't yet identified. Was it… was it awe?

"What?" I asked when he continued to just look at me.

"You have a good relationship with your servants." I nodded. "Even though they're just servants, employed for the purpose of serving you."

Oh. "Well, yes. I mean, mother doesn't approve, but I just—"

"You shouldn't feel the need to explain yourself, Bella." Edward interrupted, making me feel very relieved indeed. " It's just one of the things that make you the person that you are. With a happy lady of the house comes a happy home for all. That," And he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on mine, making my breath stop, "Is just one of the things that I love about you." He said he loved me. My world stopped.

**Heh, so what do you think? Please, please leave a review to tell me. You have no idea how much that would mean to me. And I seriously didn't have the will to read over it even one more time, sorry for any spelling mistakes.**

**And by the way, do any of you know how to use the line break? I know it's stupid, but it doesn't want to work... I don't know why. **

**The next chapters aren't completely ready either, so I can't promise you an update. Just watch out as one of those days, I will post the new chapter. **

**Until then, take care,**

**AmeliaJasmine **


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